


It Might Be You

by romanticalgirl



Series: This Year's Kisses [2]
Category: Dawson's Creek
Genre: Abortion, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-14
Updated: 2014-02-14
Packaged: 2018-01-12 07:12:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 23,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1183389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romanticalgirl/pseuds/romanticalgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Originally posted 5/28/02</p>
    </blockquote>





	It Might Be You

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted 5/28/02

Pacey looked up from the counter as he felt eyes on him, smiling a little smile as he saw Joey sitting at the counter. He nodded to her, looking back down at what he was doing, finishing up the garnish on the plate. "Danny? Can I have a second?"

"Dinner hour is fast approaching, Witter. Make it quick."

He nodded and pulled of his cap, heading through the swinging doors out into the dining room. He sat next to her, resting his elbow on the counter. "Hey."

"Hey." She didn't look at him, preferring instead to stare down at the paper in her hand. "Are you working all night?"

"Yeah. I've got closing duties tonight. Why?"

"Are you seeing Audrey afterwards?"

"Nope. She's got something tonight with one of her drama classes. Why? What's going on, Jo?"

"Can we…I need someone to talk to."

"Is he bothering you, Jo?"

"Who?" She looked up at him quickly, then looked back down at the paper. "Oh. Him. No. Not really. Not in class or anything. It's a little awkward, but we're just teacher/studenting it."

"You let me know if he starts bothering you."

"Can I see you tonight, Pacey?" She swallowed hard, her hand tightening around the paper as it curled into a fist. "Don't…I just need someone to talk to."

"Of course, Jo. You know that." He touched her hand, flinching when she pulled away. "Should I meet you at your dorm?"

"No. No. Can't I meet you at your place? Please?"

"Sure, Jo." He watched her with curious eyes as she slipped off the stool and headed for the front of the restaurant. "I'll be home about midnight." She nodded as he headed back toward the kitchen. Danny stood beside him and tilted his head.

"What was that about?"

"I don't know."

"Doesn't look like a happy girl."

"No." Pacey sighed and turned back to the oven. "No, she doesn't."

~**~  
Joey stood at the railing of the boat, staring down at the blackened water. She shivered in the cool air, blinking against the icy tears that kept escaping. As soon as she heard the sound of footsteps hit the boards of the deck, she raised one hand and wiped away the evidence of her crying, drying her hand on her long sleeves.

"Joey?" His voice was quiet as he touched her shoulders, rubbing her arms gently. "You okay?"

"Can we just go inside, Pace?"

"Sure." He turned her around and guided her, his hand in the small of her back. She moved down below, not waiting for him to follow her before she sat on the couch and pulled the throw blanket over herself. Pacey stopped in the doorway, watching her as she seemed to curl in on herself. "Joey? You're scaring the hell out of me, so can you please tell me what's wrong so that I can figure out what I'm supposed to do to help you?"

She held out her hand and he stepped forward, taking the piece of paper she'd been crumpling earlier from it. Smoothing it out, he walked over to the lamp and switched it on. He stood completely still as he read the words, rereading them several times to try and make sense of them. Finally, he raised his eyes to hers.

"What is this, Joey?"

She shook her head, sniffling quietly.

"Joey?" He moved to the couch and sat next to her, grabbing her chin lightly and forcing her to look at him. "What is this?"

"The official results of my pregnancy test." She laughed bitterly. "Seems that Professor Wilder decided to give me more than an A to remember him by."

"What are you going to do?" He released her chin and stared down at the paper once again, the letters swimming in his vision. "I mean…"

"I know what you mean." She smirked softly, unable to meet his eyes. "You mean am I going to tell him that he's going to be a father or am I going to have this baby all by myself or am I going to give it up for adoption or am I going to have an abortion. That's what you meant, right, Pacey?"

He looked down at his hands, slightly surprised to find them trembling. "I don't know what I meant, Joey." He shook his head, swallowing. "I…"

"It's okay. It's not your problem." She got to her feet and let the blanket drop to the floor. She started to walk away when he grabbed her arm and held her there, holding her in limbo in the middle of the room.

"What can I do to help?"

"Nothing."

"Joey…"

"I know that you want to help, Pacey. And maybe I can let you. I just don't know right now. I don't know anything right now."

"The least you can do is let me give you a ride home." He got to his feet and stood behind her, still holding her wrist. He tilted his head, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of her head. "And you know I'm here if you need me for anything more."

"I know that, Pacey." She looked over her shoulder and smiled at him. "That's why I told you. And why I can't tell anyone else just yet. Until I know what I want to do, I can't let anyone know."

"Dawson?"

"Anyone. Not Dawson, not Audrey, not Bessie. It has to be our secret, Pace."

He nodded, belatedly releasing her hand. "It will be."

She smiled bitterly. "At least for another couple of months, huh?"

~**~  
Audrey settled on Pacey's lap, smiling before finding his neck with her lips, nibbling his skin. "Did you miss me?"

"More than you know." He grinned back, his fingers playing with her long, blonde hair. "How was drama class?"

"Very dramatic." She sighed and leaned back, slipping off his lap so that her legs were over his, her butt pressing against his thigh as she slumped against the arm of the couch. She ran her hand down the front of her shirt, catching the top button and unfastening it. "And oddly arousing."

Pacey's eyebrow rose in interest. "Would that explain your presence here then, Miss Liddell? All anxious from your class, so you came running to the one man in Boston who can relieve you of this particular," his finger started at her knee, trailing up her thigh before sliding down to the bottom of her zipper, "tension?"

"Something like that." She smiled coquettishly, promise in her eyes. "I have to admit, I was surprised to find you awake. I thought you'd be all tuckered out from a full day of cheffing, curled up under the covers and waiting for my icy cold feet to awaken you."

"I'm not tired." He stifled a yawn, belying the words. "I've had a lot on my mind tonight."

"Danny giving you shit at the restaurant?" She lifted her arm and played with the hair at the nape of his neck, closing her eyes as his fingers continued to trail over the thin denim between her legs.

"Nope. More of a personal…family nature." He closed his eyes as well, letting his head fall back, trapping her hand at the base of his skull. "Stuff I really don't want to think about." Turning his head, he smiled at her warmly. "What do you say we make our way into the other room and work at relieving some of your tension."

"And get your mind off your family issues?"

Pacey nodded, leaning down to kiss her softly. "Exactly."

"Why Mr. Witter, what kind of girl do you think I am?"

He pushed her legs off of his and stood up, extending his hand to her and pulling her to her feet and into his arms. "My kind."

She shook her head as he pulled away slightly and started walking toward the bedroom. "Do you really think shit like that works?"

He glanced at her over his shoulder as he opened the bedroom door. "Are you coming to bed with me?"

"Yes."

He let her pass him then pushed her down onto the bed. As she turned over, he straddled her, covering her body with his. "I think you have your answer." He nuzzled her nose with his.

~**~  
Audrey sat up in the bed and leaned against the headboard, sighing quietly. Pacey was standing on the opposite side of the room, staring out the porthole. "Believe me," she spoke softly, befitting the quiet calm in the air. "I know that nothing is worse than a girl who asks you what's wrong. Except a girl who asks you what's wrong and then, when you say nothing, proceeds to ask you again and again."

"But?" He turned toward her, a smile lifting the corners of his mouth.

"Well, what's wrong? You know you can talk to me, right? I mean, it's been proven that, not only am I a good listener, which most people don't believe because I talk quite a bit, but it's totally true, but that I can keep a secret. Even those that have serious potential in the amusement department, were they to get out."

"I appreciate the sentiment."

She watched as he moved back to the bed, his naked body flecked with silver from the spray of moonlight. "But?"

"But it's really nothing."

"Right." She nodded and pulled the covers back for him. "You're just waking up in the middle of the night and staring out at the moon because you're…what? Writing poetry?"

"Something like that." He climbed into the bed and moved over her, holding his body above hers. "You wanna hear my iambic pentameter?" He kissed his way down her body, ignoring the soft sounds of protest as she struggled to talk to him.

"Pacey."

"There once was a Worthington girl, who gave this one boy whirl." He used his thumbs to part the damp flesh. "They made a good fit, as he sucked on her clit." He suited action to word, letting his tongue flicker over the hard nub. "Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah - irl."

Audrey's giggles dissolved into breathy gasps as his tongue continued moving over her, joined by his fingers as they slipped between the folds of flesh and pushed up into her heat. She let out a soft moan as he began moving his hand, pumping his fingers inside her, the tips of them brushing the upper walls of her passage, smoothing over the slick skin.

His tongue flickered over her clit, bathing the hard nub as his dark hair brushed the sensitive skin of her inner thighs. Her breathing grew shallow as he pulled his mouth away, kissing her upper thigh then her stomach as he made his way up her body, his thumb now teasing her clit as he found her lips with his own.

Audrey's tongue snaked into his mouth, tasting the lingering flavor of her body trapped there. She deepened the kiss, both of them swallowing the sound of her moan as she came around his fingers. He slowly eased them from inside her, dragging his fingertips over her clit as he pressed his body to hers to hold her still as she spasmed with reaction.

Without allowing her to recover, Pacey reached up and grabbed a condom, slipping it on silently before sliding between her legs, pressing his cock into her. Audrey spread her legs wider, granting him access, her body grasping at his hot, smooth flesh as the waves of her earlier orgasm assaulted her. Pacey groaned deep in his chest and pushed forward, filling her.

They moved without words, the slick sounds of sweat and skin, heat and need speaking for them as he pushed inside her, his mouth against her neck, his breath hot on her skin. Audrey's fingers raked across his back lightly, leaving barely-there pink trails on his tanned skin. Her blonde hair lay scattered across the pillow, blanketing him as he pushed deeper, his hand reaching down and behind him to guide one of her legs across the backs of both of his.

Audrey complied, following suit with her other leg, both arms holding him as well, burying him further. Pacey's tongue wove over her skin as he whispered her name, the tight restraint of her body around his pushing him closer to the edge. He felt more than heard her gasp beneath him, her body grinding against his as her second orgasm hit. He felt her close around his cock, her body instinctively contracting around him and he gasped as well, losing himself inside her completely.

Audrey brought her hand up to Pacey's hair, stroking the thick, dark strands. "Pacey?"

"Yeah?" His voice was muffled by her skin.

"Great sex isn't going to make it go away."

He pulled away as far as she would let him, looking down into her eyes. "It was great sex though, wasn't it?"

Audrey smiled, though it didn't quite reach her eyes. "Yeah. It was."

"Can we leave it at that? For now?"

She let him pull away completely, watching him with sharp eyes as he fell to the bed beside her. After a long moment she nodded, letting him pull her against him, settling her head on his chest. "For now."

~**~  
Joey stared at the line of girls outside Wilder's office and sighed, turning away immediately. Who knew how many of them knew she'd been his freshman conquest this year? Who knew how many of them had been there before her or were waiting to be the next one beneath his sheets? Leaving the building, she stopped and faced his window, not surprised to see him slipping over the sill.

"You know, there's actually a statistical possibility that some of them are actually lined up in there to get some guidance."

He stopped at the sound of her voice, looking at her somewhat warily. "Joey."

"David." She smiled as he winced slightly. "We need to talk."

"Is this going to be a talk where I walk out of the room with all my body parts attached? Figuratively and literally?"

"Possibly." She held her books against her chest out of habit, slightly surprised that she didn't feel she needed them for protection. She let one hand slide lower, resting at the top of her stomach and smiled knowingly. She had her protection.

He looked at her even more warily as she smiled. "Where? When?"

"Shall we meet at your place again?" Her eyebrow arched, her smile turning cruel. "Or would that put a damper on your love life, Professor? I'd hate to think I was ruining anyone's shot at a good grade."

"You know that had nothing to do with us," he dropped his voice, stepping closer. "You earned that grade."

"Did I?" She shook her head slightly. "You honestly think you're such a great writing teacher that I went from writing a C-level paper at the beginning of the semester to earning an A?"

"You earned that A before anything happened between us."

Joey stepped up to him, closing all the distance between them, her arms brushing his stomach. "That's bullshit, David. You know it and I know it. The sole purpose of that A was to close the gap between us."

"I don't lie about student grades, Miss Potter. You'll note the long line of students outside my door right now. I could fuck any one of them without a single thought to their grade."

"But where would the fun be in that? I mean, come on, Professor. Wasn't it you who said the forbidden fruit was so much sweeter?" She insinuated herself closer, dropping her books to her side so that her entire body was pressed against his. Her smile grew feral as he stepped back, looking around to see if anyone had seen them.

"Stop this, Joey. Right now."

"Or what? You'll report me?" She moved toward him. "Something tells me that you won't have a leg to stand on, David." She turned away and started walking, looking back over her shoulder at his confused and frightened face. "I'll be at your place at seven. And you'll really want to be alone for this."

~**~  
Audrey tossed her book toward her desk, falling back against her pillows as it missed, slamming onto the wood floor. "Figures."

"What does?" Joey came in the door, shutting it behind her before making her way over to her bed.

"Everything. Everything figures." Audrey blew out a breath, her bangs dancing in the air. "You dated Pacey."

"Riiiiight." Joey nodded, glancing warily at her roommate. "I thought we'd covered this."

"We have. I'm just…reaffirming."

"That I dated Pacey?"

"Right." Audrey nodded and sat up straight, looking directly at Joey. "I mean, you've known him forever."

"Close to, yeah." Joey narrowed her eyes questioningly. "Are we going somewhere with this, Audrey? Because you're much better at the direct approach."

"Did you get laid?"

Joey stopped, her mouth open. Snapping it shut, she shook her head. "You remember that like, two weeks ago, I broke off my illicit affair with my professor, right? You remember that I'm sweet, innocent, little Joey Potter?" Smirking, she shook her head. "What makes you think I've gotten laid?"

"Well, you look…satisfied."

"And one can only get a sense of satisfaction from random sex?"

"Oh no. It doesn't have to be random. It could be deliberate. Or specific."

Joey crossed her arms over her chest and stared hard at her roommate. "Let me make sure I'm understanding you here, Audrey. Are you asking me if I got laid? Or are you asking me if I got laid by Pacey?"

Audrey sighed and fell back on the bed. "Neither. I'm not asking you anything." She stared at the ceiling for a long while. "You know him better than anyone though, right? Wouldn't you say?"

"Audrey…"

"I'm not talking about sex, Jo. I mean, we've got that part down. The sex is great."

"I really don't want to hear about your sex life with Pacey." Joey lay back and stared up at the ceiling as well, her hand resting on her stomach. "Is there something wrong with you and Pacey?"

"No," Audrey assured her before sitting up, sliding to the end of the bed and letting her legs dangle over the edge. "Maybe."

"Maybe?" Joey sat up and looked at her friend. "What's going on?"

"I can't talk to you about it."

Joey froze. "Why not?"

"Because it's a stupid thing that's probably nothing, whereas you're going through something big and serious. Life altering."

"What do you mean?" Joey managed to ask through clenched teeth.

"This whole Wilder thing. I mean, it hit you hard, Joey. You can admit that to me. There's nothing wrong with that. And it can't help that the two guys you always count on are otherwise involved."

Joey let out a quiet sigh, her body relaxing. "I'm fine. Professor Wilder was just…he was my teacher in more than English." Joey shrugged. "But I'm fine. It might be nice to think about someone else's relationship for a change. So tell me what's up with you and Pacey."

Audrey shrugged. "I went to see him last night." She shifted slightly, looking uncomfortable. "And everything was great, as usual, you know?" She blushed and shook her head. "But I could tell he had something on his mind. He said he didn't want to talk, so we dropped it. But then later, it was there again. He was just staring out at the water and…" Audrey paused and sighed again. "Do you think it's me?"

"What?"

"Whatever he's preoccupied with. Do you think it's me?"

"Why would it be you, Audrey?"

"Well, even though I'm his girlfriend, we're not your typical couple, are we? Weird circumstances abound." Audrey lay back on her bed, unsure she wanted to meet Joey's eyes. "Sometimes, I get a little worried when the sex is really good."

"Why?"

"Because what if he's putting everything into the sex because it's all we've got?"

Joey pressed her lips together for a long moment. "Audrey, Pacey's not just with you for the sex."

"Are you sure?" She sat up and stared at her friend. "How can you be sure?"

Joey held Audrey's gaze for a moment before answering. "Because when Pacey's in a relationship, he gives everything he has. No matter what."

"But I'm not you, Joey."

"It wasn't just with me, Audrey."

"But everyone else was before you." She looked at Joey, the unwanted glint of tears shimmering in her eyes. "What if everyone after you has to live up to you?"

"Considering how I treated him? I'd say everyone after me should be thanking me."

"I'm not worried about how you treated him, Joey. I'm worried about how he loved you."

~**~  
Joey looked up when she sensed movement, a small smile lifting the corner of her mouth as Professor Wilder came around the corner and stopped, seeing her sitting on his porch steps. "Potter."

"David."

He winced again, and moved closer, walking up the steps without looking at her. Joey got to her feet and followed him, stopping in the doorway and watching him take off his coat, settling it on the rack beside the door. He turned around and looked at her, his eyebrow raised in question. "Are you coming in?"

"I wanted to be invited."

"Fine." His lips were drawn in a thin line. "Won't you please come in, Miss Potter?"

She moved into his house, closing the door behind her. She leaned against it, watching him as he walked directly to the dining room, grabbing a bottle of amber liquid off the top of the china hutch.

"You want a drink? Or is contributing to the delinquency of a minor another crime you plan to hold me accountable for?"

"I'd love a drink. Unfortunately, I can't have one."

"Oh?" He poured one for himself, not looking at her. "Why not?"

"At least not for the next eight months or so."

He continued pouring, the liquid spilling over the sides of the cut crystal. His hand tightened around the bottle and he forced it upright, setting it down on the table in the pool of scotch. He turned slowly, his eyes locking on hers. "What?"

"You're going to be a daddy, David." Watching his eyes widen further, she pushed off the door and moved closer to him, unable to keep from smiling as he took a step back. "What's the matter? None of your other little student flings ever hit you with this particular bombshell?"

"What the fuck are you talking about, Joey?" He reached for his drink and downed the entire thing in one swallow. "We…I always used…"

"Nothing's fool proof, David. And you have to admit the way you suckered me, I was definitely a fool."

He pulled a chair from beneath the table, not noticing as he sat down in a pool of liquor. "What does this mean?"

"It means we're going to have a baby."

"That's not what I fucking meant." He snarled the words, a feral glint in his eyes. "What do you want from me?"

Joey's smile faded and she looked at him seriously. She walked into the dining room and sat across from him, her slim hands resting on the polished oak. "I don't know yet. I don't know what I'm going to do." She glanced down at her nails as she traced the grain of the wood. "My sister got pregnant when she was twenty-one. She wasn't married. She's managed to cope pretty well. Of course, she'd probably skin me alive if I tried to follow in her path. I'm supposed to be the first Potter to go to college. To graduate from college. This would put a damper on that particular life plan."

"You wanted to have sex, Joey. Just as much as I did."

"A rape charge is the last thing you'll have to worry about, David." Joey met his gaze. "Trust me, there's more than enough for me to ruin you with, I don't have to make up a damn thing."

"Get an abortion."

"That's easy for you to say. You don't have to have your body vacuumed out. You don't have to live with the pain and the guilt. You don't have to do a damn fucking thing if I just get an abortion."

"I'll pay…"

"You think your 500 bucks is going to do a single fucking thing to alleviate what I'll have to go through? By myself?"

"How do you even know it's mine?"

"I've only slept with one other man, David. And it's been almost six months since I was last with him." She stood up and walked toward him, watching the fear in his eyes with a sick sense of pride. "You're stuck with this, David."

"What do you want from me?"

"Right now? Nothing." She ran her hand through his hair, curling her fingers in the thick strands and forcing his head back, his eyes to hers. "I just wanted you to know. Wanted you to sweat every day until I make a decision. Wanted you to suffer." Her smile widened. "Wanted you to think about the baby growing inside me every time you slide your dick into some other unsuspecting freshman."

Her lips were cool on his as she kissed him lightly, disdain scarring her features as she shook her head.

"Have a pleasant evening."

~**~  
Danny looked up from the ledger on his desk as Pacey sat on the edge of it, tapping his heel against the metal leg. "Something I can help you with, Witter?"

"You're kind of a philanderer, right?"

"Well, that's a happy conversation starter. Any other broad statements you'd like to make on my behalf so I can be sure not to call you as a character witness?"

"Look, sorry." Pacey pulled off his cap and rubbed the top of his head before shoving it back on again. "You ever get anybody pregnant?"

"Is Audrey pregnant?" Danny's voice dropped, his eyes moving to the partially open doorway. "Jesus Christ, Pacey. Are you a complete fucking idiot?"

"I haven't gotten anyone pregnant, speaking of character witnesses." He glared at Danny and got off the desk, moving over to shut the door. He slumped down in the chair opposite his boss. "I know this girl…a friend of mine…"

"Okay, we're not in high school, Pacey, and I'm not an idiot. Joey's pregnant?"

This time his hand went to his face, rubbing his tired eyes. "Yeah. And she came to me to tell me, just to tell someone. And I feel like I should do something, but I don't know what I can do. I mean, I told her I was there for her to talk to and everything, but I feel so fucking helpless."

"You've got some serious issues with women." Danny opened his desk drawer and pulled out a flask, unscrewing the top and passing it to Pacey. "You the father?" He took a long drink, letting the liquid burn his throat before passing the flask back to Danny. "Is that a yes?"

"No. I'm not the father."

"Then why are you so worried about this?"

"Joey's…" Pacey fell back against the chair and stared up at the ceiling, his eyes moving from dot to dot in the tile. "Joey meant a lot to me. We were together for a long time and I loved her. I love her. I mean, I still care about her and want what's best for her, ya know?" He waited for Danny to respond, finally continuing when he didn't. "Joey's the one who's smart and supposed to succeed."

"And she can't do that if she has a baby."

"Joey couldn't give a baby up for adoption. She's not made that way. She'd sacrifice whatever she had to. Her whole family's like that. Her sister raised her pretty much by herself after their mom died and her dad went to prison. Joey knows how to sacrifice."

"What about…"

"I don't know if she can do that either." Pacey blew out a long breath. "Fuck, Danny. I think having an abortion would kill her. Kill a part of her that I don't want to see her lose."

"It's not your decision to make."

"What if she asks me for advice? For help?"

"It's her body, Pace. Her baby. Be there for her. Be her friend. But you're not responsible for any of this." Danny shrugged. "That's not what you want to hear, I'm sure."

"It's just…"

Danny shook his head as Pacey got to his feet. "My high school girlfriend got pregnant our senior year. She was almost past the first trimester, just about to show when she told me. I didn't have time to process a damn thing before we were on our way to the clinic."

"I'm sorry."

"I held her hand through the entire thing and I'll never forget the fucking sound for the rest of my life. I'll never forget looking at her face and knowing that I did that to her and that she was probably going to hate me for putting her through it. I sat there, my knuckles practically white as we held onto each other, hating myself just in case her hate wasn't strong enough."

"Jesus, Danny."

He looked up, meeting Pacey's tortured gaze. "It wasn't mine. She told me on the way home that she'd been sleeping with this guy she met at her job. She was sure it was his, but he'd blown her off when she told him." Danny took a hit from the flask. "You just be there for the people you care about, Pacey. That's all."

Pacey nodded and turned toward the door, not looking back as Danny drained the flask in a single drink.

~**~  
"Drama class again tonight?" Joey asked softly as Pacey stepped aboard the boat. He stopped and she stood, moving out of the shadows. As he nodded, she shook her head. "I know the answer to that. I think I'm just asking if you want me to leave."

"I don't want you to leave, Joey."

She followed him to the doorway, slipping into the heart of the boat behind him. He pulled the door shut behind her, locking it. She sat on the long couch as he moved to the kitchen area, opening the mini-fridge.

"You want anything?"

"No. Thanks."

He nodded and came back, a soda in his hands. She stared at the can as he popped it open, the sound loud in the quiet room. She tried, but couldn't manage to hear the waves outside, beating against the hull in the soft breeze. "How are you?"

"Okay." She nodded, still watching his hands. "I went to see David…Professor Wilder today. I…I told him."

"What did he say?" His voice was soft, as if he was afraid to upset her.

She looked up at his eyes quickly, startling him. "Are you disappointed in me?"

"What?" He shook his head immediately, moving to sit beside her. "God, no. Joey…" He pulled her into a hug, holding her body close to his. "You should know that."

"I'm disappointed in me. For being stupid enough to think that he cared about me. For being stupid enough to just rely on one form of protection. For being so fucking stupid…" tears broke through, slipping down her cheeks as she raised her face to his. "I'm supposed to be really smart, you know."

"You are smart, Joey." He wiped the tears away gently. "You liked him. You thought he liked you…"

"I made you wait for nine months, Pace. Why'd you wait so long for me?"

The dark, silky strands of her hair slid back easily as he brushed them away from her face. "I was head over heels in love with you, Potter. And trust me, the second time always comes easier. And faster. I'm not disappointed in you, Jo."

"I thought I was pregnant once before. In high school." He sat back a little and she shook her head, unwilling to meet his eyes. "I didn't tell you because I was so afraid and then I found out that I was just a little late…"

"Jesus, Jo. You shouldn't have gone through that alone."

She laughed and pulled away from him, shaking her head more violently. "Stop it."

"Stop what, Jo?"

She stood up and glared at him, slapping him hard on the upper arm. "Stop being so goddamn nice to me!" Her voice rose, hysteria adding a keening edge to it. "Be angry. Be hurt. Be fucking pissed off that I fucked my teacher as if you didn't mean a fucking thing to me! Be…be something!" She sank to the floor, burying her head in the sofa cushion. He watched her sob, listening as the sound turned to bitter laughter as she pulled away and slumped against the opposite wall. "Jesus. I'm really living down to the Potter name, aren't I?"

"I can't be mad at you just because you're angry with yourself, Jo."

"Why should that be the reason? Haven't I given you a thousand other reasons to hate me?" She got to her feet and started pacing the room, the defeat from the night she'd told him replaced with anger and self-hatred. "What the fuck would I do with a baby? I can't even manage to take care of myself. Obviously."

"What does he want you to do?"

"Not tell Worthington that he's fucking his students." She laughed again, the sound harsher. "He offered me money for an abortion. He asked me what I wanted from him."

"What did you tell him?"

"That I didn't know."

"Do you know?"

"It would be a kind of justice to let him sweat after I'd made a decision, don't you think? Let him worry about it every day, wondering what I'm going to do as it gets closer and closer to the point of no return?" She smirked. "I don't have any choice, Pacey."

"You have choices, Joey. And you know that, whatever you choose, your friends will stick beside you."

"Which do you think would disappoint everyone more? If I had a baby or if I had an abortion?"

"Everyone? Or Dawson?"

"For once in my life I can safely say this isn't about Dawson." She sat down next to him again, her body close and warm. "Which would disappoint you more, Pacey? Which one would make you look at me with something other than respect in your eyes?"

His fingers grazed her face lightly, teasing over her cheek. "Nothing can change how I feel about you, Jo."

Her face tilted slightly and she pressed her lips against his, a soft insistent pressure that deepened as her tongue slipped past her lips to touch his, wetting them before slipping into his mouth. Pacey groaned softly and grabbed her by the arms, holding her away from him as he shook his head.

"No, Joey."

"I know. I'm sorry." She ran a hand through her hair. "I am sorry."

"It's over. It happened, but it's over and it won't happen again." He shook his head. "Let's just leave it at that."

"Right." She glanced down at her watch. "I should go. It's late and Audrey might be here soon, and I don't want to have to explain what I'm doing here." She turned and placed her hand on the door, turning the lock as she looked back at him. "I'm eighteen years old, Pacey. I've got my whole life ahead of me."

"And it's your life, Joey. So decide what you need."

She smiled, the corners of her mouth barely lifting. "I already have."

~**~  
Audrey barely felt the wind coming off the water as she watched Joey make her way along the dock. Shoving her hands in her pockets for warmth, she slipped out of the shadows and headed for the boat.

Pacey opened the door at her knock, hurrying her into the heated room. He shut the door behind her, taking her coat and draping it over the counter before wrapping his arms around her, resting his chin on her shoulder. "Hey," he breathed warmly on her skin.

"Hi." She turned in his embrace and kissed him softly, the heat of his tongue warming her chilled lips. "Mmm. You taste like booze."

"Danny and I tossed back something lethal at the restaurant today." He kissed her again. "How was class?"

"Fine." She smiled and slipped out of his arms, moving over to the couch. "Not exactly boozing it up with the boss, but good."

"Well, I didn't stagger home singing embarrassing songs or anything." He sat next to her, pulling her into his lap. "And you don't have to worry about Danny asking you if you really have a mole in the small of your back."

"What makes you think Danny doesn't already know?"

"Mmm," he nuzzled her neck. "I'm pretty sure he would have mentioned that. I think anyone who's had the very pleasurable experience of seeing you naked would shout it from the rooftops."

"You really think flattery's going to get me to get naked for you, don't you?"

"Well, I've got a few back-up plans, but flattery was my first choice." He began unbuttoning her shirt with one hand, sliding it beneath the parted fabric to find her breast, pushing aside the lace of her bra.

"Were you sitting here all night planning your seduction strategy?"

"No." He eased her back down onto the couch, her body reclined against the arm. He held himself over her, pushing her shirt away from her skin, baring her to the thick air. "Mostly I was just picturing you naked."

"And what was Joey doing while you were doing that?"

Pacey stilled, his expression confused. "What?"

"I saw her leave." Audrey sat up and pulled her blouse closed. "So I'm just curious what she was doing while you were picturing me naked. Or do I not want to know?"

Pacey sat back and shook his head, smirking slightly. "Well, most of the time she was sucking my cock."

Audrey flinched at his harsh tone. "I see."

"Obviously not if you think for a fucking second that that's true." He raked his hands through his hair. "Jesus, Audrey."

"What am I supposed to think, Pacey?" She got up and glared at him. "You've been distant lately. And then I come to see you and your door's locked. Then Joey hops off the boat and just strolls away down the dock."

"We were talking, Audrey."

"About what?"

Pacey sighed and shook his head. "I don't fucking believe this." Moving over to the kitchen area, he poured himself a glass of water, drinking it in one long swallow. "Joey's been a friend of mine most of my life, Audrey. I'm not about to justify every conversation I have with her."

"Why was the door locked, Pacey?"

"Habit?" He held up his hands as he shrugged. "I don't fucking know, Audrey. But it sure as hell wasn't what you're obviously thinking."

Crossing her arms over her chest, Audrey glared at him from across the small room. "What do you expect me to think, Pacey? The last time you two were alone together, she was kissing you, trying to get a hell of a lot more from you."

"And I told her no."

Audrey chewed the inside of her cheek, struggling to keep her emotions in check. "Are you in love with Joey?"

"Oh God." He threw his hands up and stared up at the ceiling, taking deep breaths. Finally, he looked at her, holding her gaze. "No. I'm not in love with Joey. She's my friend. Yes, she's my ex-girlfriend and I think it sucks that she got used by her jerk of a professor. But I'm not in love with her and I'm not fucking her."

"Then why are you so distant?"

"How am I distant, Audrey? Am I distant because one night I couldn't fucking sleep and I just decided to stare out at the sea for a while? Am I distant because I don't tell you every single thought in my head?" He rubbed his eyes and walked to her, stopping when he was barely a foot away. "Let me tell you what I'm thinking, Audrey. I've got this girl that I'm sort of crazy about. And she's wonderful and sexy and I'm the envy of about every guy in the world right now. Sometimes I wonder how I got so lucky to have her."

She sniffled and offered him a small smile. "You're trying to sweet talk me."

"I'm trying to make you realize that you've got nothing to worry about when it comes to Joey."

Her smile widened slightly. "I want to believe you."

"You should believe me."

Her hand went out to him, her fingertip tracing over his shirtfront. "I bet there's a way you could convince me."

He smiled in response, closing the distance between them. "You think?"

**

Joey stared up at the house as she leaned against the oak tree that lined the street. A cool wind ruffled the leaves above her as she pushed away from the rough trunk and started toward the fence.

"They're not home."

She stopped and turned, noticing Grams coming up the sidewalk. "Hey, Mrs. Ryan." She hurried to her side and took some of the bags of groceries from her hands. "Who's not home?"

"Dawson. And Jennifer." She reached for her keys with her free hand and waited while Joey opened the screen door. "They've gone off for a short film festival in Providence." She led the way into the kitchen, still talking. "I'm not sure if it's a short film festival, or a festival of short films. Or if it's simply an excuse to get out and do things they feel too inhibited to do in my house."

Joey settled onto the stool at the counter as Grams started emptying bags. "I didn't need to hear that part."

"You know, me either." Grams chuckled as she fished a package of cookies from the bag, opening and setting them in front of Joey. Moving to the refrigerator, she grabbed the milk and then two glasses before sitting opposite Joey. "You look like you need someone to talk to."

"Do I?"

"And you look like you need something to eat. You've grown far too thin, Josephine." She poured and pushed a glass toward Joey. "Three cookies at least. And the whole glass of milk."

"Or else?"

"Or else." Grams smiled. "I have it on good authority that you're frightened of me, so you'd best do as I say, don't you think?"

Joey laughed and nibbled on the end of one of the cookies. "Do you like Boston, Mrs. Ryan?"

"It's not filled with all the wonderful memories that Capeside was," Grams stated softly. "I've had to move them here with me, but I'm finding much about Boston that I could easily grow to love."

"Do you ever wish you could go back?"

"You can't go back in life, Josephine. Only forward."

"I don't think I've gone anywhere for a long time. Forward. Back. Sideways. I feel like I'm just standing still. I think I've been standing still since I was fifteen."

"Really?" Grams took a bite of her cookie, looking hard at Joey. "You followed your heart and ran away for the summer…"

"And then, in all reality, ran right back to my safe, secure life that I left. Nothing changed after we came back. It was all the same."

"Do you really think you're the same?"

She sighed and took a drink of milk then looked up at Grams. "I'm pregnant."

Grams's cookie fell to the counter, breaking in two. "I see."

"I always swore that I wasn't going to be like Bessie, you know? I always swore that I'd get out of Capeside and make something of myself. I was always sure that I was better than the rest of my family. You weren't going to see me slaving away to try and hold together a marriage that was falling apart more and more every day until it killed me. You weren't going to see me dealing drugs, or having a baby before I'd even had a life." Joey laughed sadly. "I guess blood is thicker than ambition."

"Have you told the father?"

"Yeah." Joey nodded, picking at the crumbs of her cookie, breaking them into even smaller pieces. "He asked me what I wanted him to do. He offered me the money for an abortion."

"Is that what you want to do?"

Joey looked up, searching Grams's face for signs of disapproval. "I don't know. I keep weighing my options, the few that I have. A baby, an adoption or an abortion." She laughed softly, bitterly. "Do you think it would be this bad…this hard if the father was someone I loved?"

"Harder," Grams assured her. "Because then it wouldn't just be your decision. You wouldn't have to worry about yourself and the baby. You'd have to worry if you were hurting him, if he was hating you." Grams reached out and covered one of Joey's hands with her own. "What does your heart tell you to do, Josephine?"

"I want to be selfish." She spoke the words quietly, barely hearing them in the silent room. "I don't want to have to make this choice, this decision. I want someone to tell me what to do. I want…" She sighed. "I want to make the right choice, Mrs. Ryan."

"There is no right choice." Grams got up and moved around the counter, putting her arm around Joey. "There's only choice."

She sniffed back the tears that threatened to fall. "Everything's going to change."

"Everything always changes. It has to." She lifted her chin and forced Joey to look into her eyes. "Do what you have to do and don't let anyone else tell you what's right or what's wrong. The only person that knows that is you." She watched Joey's eyes falter, looking away from her gaze. "And I will not think less of you because you make a choice, Josephine."

"Because you can't think less of me?" She looked up, a small smile trembling on her lips.

Grams kissed her forehead softly. "Something like that, yes."

~**~  
Pacey looked up from the grill at the tap on his back, glancing over his shoulder at Danny who nodded in the direction of the counter. His eyes narrowed sharply. "I'm going to take a quick break."

"I thought you might."

Pacey untied his apron and hung it on the hook beside the door leading into the dining room. He pulled the cap off his head as he walked through the swinging door, squeezing the bill tightly in his hands to keep them from balling into fists. He stopped in front of the counter. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"I'm guessing from your welcoming reception that Joey's informed you of the most current twist in our little soap opera."

"Your soap opera?" Pacey snarled the words. "Is that what you call her life? The life you've done your damnedest to fuck up?" He glanced over his shoulder at Danny and reigned in his temper. "Let's go." He nodded in the direction of the kitchen, turning and stalking through his fellow workers, heading for the hallway leading to the alley.

Wilder followed him, warily watching Pacey as he whirled around as soon as he was outside, his demeanor animalistic. "I'm not making light of the situation."

"Really?" Pacey's eyebrow shot up as he bit out the sarcasm. "Could have fooled me."

"Look," Wilder sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "Joey…I never meant to hurt her. Ever. It was supposed to be something…something good."

"I hope it was good. I'd hate for crappy sex to ruin her entire life."

"I'd hoped you'd be willing to discuss this rationally. I can see that's not the case." He started to walk off, stopped by Pacey's hand on his arm, the fingers digging sharply into his skin.

"What exactly is there to discuss? You got your 18-year-old student pregnant and now she's got to decide if she's going to have it or get rid of it. I'd think the only discussion you'd be worried about is the one you're probably going to end up having with the Dean."

"I didn't mean for it to happen. We took every precaution."

"You know, that'd be sort of endearing if you weren't a 30-something teacher, obviously known for preying on your freshman students. Jesus, you're disgusting. Coming here to what? Try and talk me into making Joey get an abortion? Keep her mouth shut? You think I care so little about her that I'd just do whatever you asked to keep your ass out of trouble?"

"No. I thought you cared enough about Joey to want what's best for her."

"And how on earth do you think you've got any idea what that is?"

Wilder walked across the alley and leaned against the brick fence, covering his face with his hands. "I'll be honest with you. I don't know much of anything about Joey. I know she's smart and funny and sexy. I know she's got hang-ups about men and sex. I know she's a…" He stopped, the look on Pacey's face sentencing what he'd been about to say to a quick death. "But I don't have to know her as well as you do to know that having this kid isn't what's best for her. I don't have to be a genius or in love with her to know that she's got a bright future ahead of her."

"She did."

"She does." He sighed as he watched Pacey's fists clench and relax at his sides. "I don't know what her thoughts are on abortion. Maybe she's religious and I never noticed it. Maybe she's got some sort of moral high ground that's impregnable. No pun intended. But I do know that she's not going to achieve half of what she could…what she deserves if she has this baby."

"And this has nothing to do with saving your ass?"

Wilder laughed. "It's got everything to do with saving my ass. But maybe…maybe I can save hers at the same time." He watched the emotions roll over Pacey's face. Guilt and pain and desire and love. "You want what's best for her, don't you? Isn't that more important than vengeance against me?"

"So you just get off?" Pacey smirked. "No pun intended."

"You think that just because I don't love her, this is easy for me? You don't think it bothers me at all that this is my child?"

Pacey regarded him for a long minute, the tension building between them. "No. Honestly, I don't think you give a shit about Joey or the baby. I don't think you give a shit about anything other than yourself. You want to get away with this, get off scott-free. You want to pay your way out of this by giving Joey a handful of cash to pay off the doctor so that you can walk away thinking you've appeased your conscience."

"What more do you want?"

"I want you to suffer. I want you to go through all the agony that Joey's going through." Pacey sneered at him. "I want to see your face when the doctor's bill comes across the Dean's desk, asking him to forward it to you. I would love to see you explain why a promising, scholarship freshman dropped out of your class conspicuously mid-term and then suddenly there's an interesting bill for what's not your average student-teacher relationship."

"Would that make it easier for you to swallow the fact that it's not you?"

Pacey's entire body stilled, even his chest seeming to pause mid-breath. Finally, he swallowed, his eyes like ice. "You think I'm fucking jealous that you got her pregnant? You think I want to be the one to ruin her life?" He laughed, the sound vicious. "You think I'm threatened by you?"

"I think it bothers the hell out of you that someone else was fucking Joey. And it's got to drive you fucking crazy to know that it's my child growing inside her. How often did you fantasize about that sort of romantic crap when she was fucking you, Pacey?"

The low growl was barely perceptible before it hit him with the full force of Pacey's body behind it. Leaning against the brick wall did little to lessen the impact as Pacey's forearm slammed into his neck, knocking his head into the grimy red fence. Before he could recover, he felt the hard sting of the back of Pacey's fist spinning his head to one side. He felt the ground coming closer, grateful that it couldn't hurt nearly as much as the steel-toed boot slamming into his stomach.

"Pacey!" He looked up, feeling everything go fuzzy as someone in white grabbed Pacey by the arms and jerked him away. "Witter!" Blinking back unconsciousness, he forced himself to remain sitting, not caring that the ground was wet and muddy and littered with trash. Pacey was being held against the wall of the building. The man doing the holding looked over his shoulder. "Get the fuck out of here."

Pacey shook Danny off and stood there, his whole body shaking with rage and exertion. "Stay away from me. And stay the fuck away from Joey."

Wilder got shakily to his feet, holding the wall as he stood. He wiped at his face, water mixing with the blood leaking from his now broken nose. "You know what she needs to do."

Danny caught Pacey once more as he launched himself in Wilder's direction. He held him still until the other man was out of sight, releasing him only when he seemed to have calmed down. "Joey's got shitty taste in men."

Pacey glared at him. "You're a funny guy."

"Yeah. I know. I'm also your boss. And right now, I want you to get the hell out of my kitchen."

~**~  
"So," Joey switched her bag to her other shoulder as she walked alongside Audrey. "How are things on the Pacey front?" She held up her hand before Audrey could open her mouth. "And I mean that as non-sex related as possible."

"Good thing you mentioned that," Audrey grinned widely. "Because I was about to say his front is damn nice, but I'm partial to his ass." She laughed at Joey's expression. "Not that I would say something so cru…de."

Joey stopped walking, realizing she'd lost Audrey. Turning around, she followed her roommate's gaze down the offshoot hallway, freezing as well. "My God."

Audrey's loud whisper carried down the hall. "Did you do that to him?"

"No." Joey watched as Wilder broke off his conversation with another student and turned in their direction. He winced, though neither girl could tell if it was from pain or seeing them. "I'll catch up with you later, Audrey."

"You sure?" The blonde turned to look at her friend seriously. "I mean, the guy really hurt you, Jo."

"I know. But I need to talk to him." She shrugged, a soft flush of embarrassment staining her cheeks. "Make sure he's all right."

"You still have feelings for him," Audrey nodded. "Makes sense. You're sweet that way. Haven't quite developed that whole love 'em and leave 'em attitude. Gotcha." She adjusted her books. "Just be careful, okay? Don't let him hurt you again?"

"He doesn't look in much shape to hurt anyone, Audrey."

"Punkin, he doesn't have to touch you to hurt you." She patted the top of Joey's head and started down the hall, disappearing around the corner as Wilder approached Joey.

"Can I see you in my office, Miss Potter?"

"Sure," she nodded, her lips pursed together in a tight line as she followed him down the hallway. He unlocked his office and walked inside, waiting until she'd entered before shutting the door and locking it behind them. Her hand rose instinctively as soon as they were alone, touching his swollen cheek. "What happened to you?"

He jerked away, wincing hard. "It's a little sore."

"It looks a lot sore." She traced the air over his broken nose, the bruise purple bags under both eyes. "Who did this, David?"

"I had a run-in with your friend Pacey."

"Pacey did this to you?"

He massaged his temples gently. "Have you made a decision?"

She took a step back, recoiling from the flat statement. "I wonder if it was when we fucked here." She responded in a like tone, the inflection cool and hard. "When we sent all those books tumbling to the floor."

He was silent for a long time, slipping into his chair and leaning his head back, staring up at the ceiling. "I never meant for this to happen."

"Neither did I."

"I don't mean the…" He gestured toward her, the hand curved somewhat protectively over her stomach. "I mean us. You and me. Sex. I never intended for it to happen."

"Is this supposed to be making me feel better about the fact that I'm carrying your bastard child?"

He blew out his breath, struggling to control the waves of anger that seemed to accompany every word she spoke. "Just…just stop, okay? Let me finish a fucking sentence before you…" He inhaled again, forcing himself to slow his breathing. "I was attracted to you the first minute I saw you. But I had no intention of doing anything about it, for a lot of reasons, not the least of which was the fact that you reminded me of me when I was your age. You have this romantic idealism, this naïve innocence that was the biggest warning sign ever."

"What changed your mind?"

"It's also the biggest turn-on. And then when you seemed to be attracted to me…I lost my head a little."

"Considering the consequences of our actions, I'd say you lost your head a lot."

"I didn't get you pregnant all by myself." He bit out. "Look, I'm sorry that this happened, Joey. I really am. It wasn't my intention or my desire. I'm sure it wasn't yours." He got to his feet and walked over to the window, staring out at the rest of the campus going by. "But I can't change it, so you just tell me what the fuck you want me to do to placate you and get you the fuck out of my office for good."

"You invited me here."

"Have you decided what you're going to do?"

Joey walked up behind him and put her hand on his shoulder, her fingers digging into his skin to turn him around. He faced her, both of them knowing that he needed to. Putting her hands on either side of his face, she brought his lips down to hers, her mouth opening over his. His eyes closed in response to the gentle touch, his body moving forward of its own volition.

Pulling back, Joey opened her eyes and licked her lips, watching him with a mixture of curiosity and insecurity. And fear. Her eyes were almost black with it. "I'm getting an abortion."

The words hit him like a fist in the gut, playing over the bruised and cracked ribs Pacey had given him. "What can I do?"

"I'll need the money for it. I've got some, but…"

"How much?"

"How much do I have?"

He shook his head. "How much is it?"

"I don't know. I haven't asked." She shrugged. "I didn't think it would be wise to do it at the campus health clinic, so I'm going to have to go into town. Or out of town."

"Do you want me to go with you?"

"Would you?"

He met her eyes at her challenging tone. Finally he shook his head. "No."

"I'll pay for it and then you can pay me back."

"No." He went to his desk again, looking at the calendar on his desk. "When are you going?"

"Next weekend."

"I'll give you a thousand dollars on Monday. If you can call and find out exactly how much, I'll give you more if it's necessary. I don't want…I don't want you to have to deal with anything more than you're dealing with now."

Joey nodded briefly. "I'm going to go then."

"Goodbye, Joey Potter."

"Goodbye…" She walked to the door and opened it, looking back at him before it closed behind her. "David."

~**~  
"So, anyway." Audrey stretched out on the bed, smiling appreciatively as Pacey pulled off his shirt. "Joey's ex-beau got the shit beaten out of him."

"Yeah? Did Joey do it?"

"You know, that was my first question." She rolled over as he moved to the other side of the room, keeping him in view as long as she could before he disappeared into the bathroom. "He looked awful. You think Joey put out a hit on him?"

"What?" He poked his head out of the door, one eyebrow raised. "Please tell me you're joking and not actually delusional."

"Okay, it's a little farfetched, but think about it." She sighed as he ducked back into the bathroom. "She's been wronged."

"True. But she also humiliated him in front of a bunch of people, getting a sort of revenge in that way. A way that, I might add, doesn't require more than a passing acquaintance with someone named Jimmy 'Death Hands' Larusso." He walked out, his belt undone, his jeans unfastened. "He probably hit on the wrong woman in a bar. Or insulted someone's reading list at a faculty meeting."

Audrey laughed and rolled onto her back again. "I just can't help thinking it's related."

"Because you live in a logical world?" He sat down next to her, running his fingers through her hair.

"No. If it were logical, I wouldn't be dating you." She smiled up at him, turning toward him slightly. "I'm just not a believer in coincidences."

"Joey's been broken up with the guy for three weeks now, Audrey." He slid down the mattress until he was lying beside her, his lips hovering near hers. "I hardly think this falls into the realm of coincidence. Hell, he could have screwed over two or three other girls in the freshman class in that time." He rubbed the tip of his nose against hers, tracing her lips with his tongue. "Can we stop talking about this now?"

"You had a better topic in mind?"

He shook his head, moving into her until she was sprawled on the bed once more. He moved his hand up to cup her bare breast, stroking the nipple with his thumb. "Actually, I was just thinking we should stop talking altogether."

"That could be good." Audrey nodded, the motion ending as his lips found hers, his tongue sliding into her mouth. Her hands traveled along his back, curving over his shoulders as his lips worked their way down her neck to her breast, lavishing the rosy tip with his tongue. "Oh…definitely good," she gasped.

He smiled around her skin, leaving the creamy flesh to continue down her stomach, his hands preceding his lips, freeing her from the tangled sheet. He nibbled at her belly button, his tongue dipping inside as her hands threaded through his hair, urging him lower.

His tongue parted wet, rosy flesh, searching out the hard nub of her clit. Audrey moaned her hushed approval, her legs parting to allow him to slip between them. Pacey's hands smoothed over her thighs then ran down her legs, hooking under them and easing them onto his shoulders.

His hands reversed their trip, moving along the underside of her legs until he reached her inner thighs, barely brushing them with his fingertips. She shivered all around him as he brought one hand to her ass, massaging the firm flesh, and the other to her opening, easing two fingers inside the wet channel.

The shrill sound of the phone broke over Audrey's gasp, her fingers scraping against his scalp as she held him there, his tongue teasing her clit with soft, circular strokes. "Machine," she panted.

Pacey mumbled his agreement against her skin and felt her body tighten around him in response. He slid another finger inside her, thrusting with a slow, steady pace.

The phone rang again, the soft rumble of his voice on the machine filling the room for a moment. Audrey was gasping above him as he increased his rhythm, timing each stroke with a lazy lick across her clit. Her thighs tightened, slick skin pressing harder against his moving hand.

"Pacey?"

He pulled away at the sound of Joey's voice, ignoring Audrey's enraged mewl of protest as he crawled over her to the machine, snapping the volume off. He sighed and collapsed on the mattress for a second before turning his head toward Audrey. "I'm…"

"Fuck you." She was off the bed and half dressed. "Just fucking fuck you." She yanked her shirt over her head. "Fucker."

"Audrey." He stood up and touched her shoulder, pulling back as she slapped his hand away. "I just didn't…"

"What? Didn't what, Pacey? Want to hear her voice talking about mundane shit when you were busy hearing her beg you to fuck her in your head?"

"It's not like that, Audrey. It's a little uncomfortable to hear my ex-girlfriend talking to me when I'm busy…"

"Fucking?" Audrey bit out the word. "That's what you were doing, Pacey. You were fucking me. Eating me out. Licking my pussy." She shoved him with each phrase. "Sucking my clit." Another shove until he hit the wall. "And trust me, I'll be sure to tell your precious fucking Joey all about it, so you can explain it to her the next time you're locked inside your fucking boat together." She slapped him hard, the sound ringing in the room, louder than both of their heavy breathing. Tears stood in her eyes as she looked at him. "Fuck you."

Pacey watched her run from the room before closing his eyes and sinking down to the floor, his elbows on his knees, his head in his hands.

"Fuck."

~**~  
"You."

Joey looked up from her book as the door slammed open. "Hey there, Audrey."

She grabbed the door and slammed it shut, not caring as the lock didn't catch and it bounced back and hit the heel of her shoe. "You."

"Me what?" Joey closed her book and sat up straighter on her bed. "Are you alright?"

"Do you know what I was doing about a half hour ago?"

Joey shook her head slowly, her brow furrowed. "No. Should I?"

"I was lying on Pacey's bed. Naked. And he was finger fucking me." Audrey crossed her arms over her chest defiantly. "And licking my clit, but that's not the point."

"What would be the point?"

"What's going on with you two?" She shut the door firmly this time, stalking over to the end of Joey's bed. "Just tell me."

"What are you talking about, Audrey?"

"You. And Pacey. I know there's something going on between you. I've seen him all preoccupied now that you're not fucking your teacher. Ever since you tried to fuck him the night you found out that Wilder was just using you for a scratching post."

Joey stood up, her eyes narrowing angrily. "What?"

"Okay, the coy 'little Joey Potter' act? Yeah, that's over, okay? Ever since you got the professorial boot, you've been hot on Pacey's heels. I saw you two the other night on the boat. Door locked. How far did you get, Joey? Did he let you suck his cock or did he do all the work?"

"It's nice to know you're in such a trusting relationship, Audrey."

"And tonight. You just had to fucking call him tonight, didn't you? You knew I'd be with him, knew we'd be together. I bet that drives you crazy, doesn't it? Knowing that he was with me, fucking me. Having sex with me."

"Funny. With me and Pacey, it's always more about being in love. Making love." She grabbed her coat off her desk chair. "Since you're home, I'm going out."

Audrey grabbed her arm. "Just tell me. Just fucking tell me that you're fucking him."

"Don't wait up, Audrey."

The door shut behind Joey and Audrey shrieked, her shoe hitting the wood right where her roommate's head would have been.

**

Joey wrapped her hands around the metal railing and stared up at the building in front of her. The warm hand in the small of her back kept her knees from buckling, but did nothing for the dizziness that threatened to overwhelm her.

"God." She took a deep breath then blew it out slowly, afraid if she didn't regulate it, she'd begin to hyperventilate. "I never thought I'd be here."

Pacey chuckled softly. "Me either."

She turned her head to look at him for the first time since she'd climbed in the front seat of Danny's car. "Am I doing the right thing, Pacey?"

"Only you can answer that, Jo." He nodded in the direction of the building. "Come on. Listen to what they have to say. You can always change your mind."

"I told David I was doing this."

"David doesn't have any say in the matter, Jo. It's your body. Your life."

"His baby," she reminded him.

"Your baby." He shook his head. "Come on, Potter." He slid his hand from her back, reaching out to capture her hand. "I'll be with you every step of the way if you want me."

"I do." She fought back tears. "I don't know how I could have done this without you, Pace. God. You've been so strong." She stared up at the mirrored glass door. "Have you talked to Audrey?"

"What would I say to her, Jo? Yeah, I beat the shit out of Joey's ex-boyfriend? No, I can't tell you why Joey and I are spending a lot of free time together? Yes, I'm sorry that I bailed during sex because Joey was on the phone?" He laughed softly, the bitterness barely discernable. "Hey, thanks for attacking Joey and assuming that she and I are sleeping together behind your back. That's really great that you trust me so much."

Joey squeezed his hand. "I put you in an untenable position."

"You need someone, Jo. I'm just happy I can be here for you."

"At what cost." It was a statement more than a question, reassuring him that she was aware that he was paying a price. "I'm sorry I asked you to share this with me." Before he could respond, she pressed her fingers to his lips. "But I'm so grateful that you're here. So let's just leave it at that?"

"Sounds good." He nodded toward the doors once more. "Come on."

~**~  
Joey settled into the plush blue chair, chewing on her lower lip. Pacey stood in the doorway, his eyes on her. "It's up to you, Jo."

She nodded. "Come in."

He moved to the chair next to her, sitting down as the counselor followed him in and shut the door. She sat behind the desk and looked over Joey's papers one last time before smiling at both of them. "Okay, Joey, I'm going to ask you a few questions, and I need you to be sure that you answer them honestly and to the best of your ability."

"Okay."

"Are you here today of your own free will?"

"Yes."

"No one made any attempt to coerce you into coming here for this procedure?"

"No."

"Okay. I'm going to inform you of some of the risks associated with the procedure and then talk you through what will be done. If you have any questions, please ask them. If, at any time, you change your mind regarding this procedure, all you have to do is say the word and you walk out the door."

Joey nodded, glancing quickly at Pacey. "Okay."

He reached over and took her hand, holding it loosely as she threaded her fingers through his. He watched her as she listened intently, disassociating himself with the moment. The skin of her lower lip was ragged where she'd chewed on it, her teeth still worrying it as she waited for the response to a question she'd asked.

He ran his thumb lightly over the back of her hand as the counselor asked a personal question, smiling to himself as a pink flush stained her cheeks. He wondered briefly if she'd lose that after all of this, if it would be replaced by a hardness in her features, in her eyes.

"Do you have any further questions, Joey?"

She shook her head, glancing quickly at Pacey. "No." Her voice was small and soft. Scared, he realized. He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen her scared. "No. I think I'm ready."

"All right. Just come this way then, and I'll introduce you to Jessica. She's going to be the nurse with you during your procedure. We'll do some rudimentary testing first - urine sample, blood sample. Then we'll prep you for the procedure." She glanced at Pacey then back at Joey. "Would you like Pacey to join you?"

"Can he?" Her eyes went wide, turning first to Pacey then the counselor. He was sure she'd told them her name, but had no recollection of it.

"If you'd like. And if he'd like."

She looked back to Pacey then dropped her eyes. "Can we have a minute?"

"Certainly."

Joey waited until the door closed then released his hand, moving as far away from him as the room would allow. Her hands clutched at nothing as she stared at his chest, unable to meet his eyes. "I'm not going to ask you." Tears clung to the words. "In fact, I'm going to suggest you sit out in the waiting room. I can't thank you enough for what you've done so far, Pacey, and I haven't had the right to ask that much of you, never mind ask you for more."

He watched her chin quiver as tears raced down her cheeks. He could feel the vein in his jaw working, pulsing in time with her body's shaking.

"It's not your baby, Pacey. And there's no reason for you to go through that and, god forbid, imagine what might have been." She looked up at him finally, staring at him through the sparkling lens of tears. "I don't want you in there."

"Joey." He walked toward her, stopping just in front of her. "The reason you told me, the reason that I'm here with you is because I, of all the people that you know, know you're not strong enough to do this alone." He gathered her into his arms, holding her body to his. "Maybe you don't want me there for whatever reason, but you need me there." He pulled her back, leaning down to kiss her forehead. "So that's where I'm going to be."

~**~  
Soft, hushed voices filtered through the pulsing fear that seemed to dim everything else in the world. Joey stared up at the ceiling, her heart pounding as people moved and talked all around her, bandying words she didn't know, didn't understand, hadn't ever wanted to hear.

Jessica, the nurse, appeared in her line of sight, smiling softly. "How are you doing?"

"Is blind panic an acceptable answer?"

"It's a frequent one." She nodded to the opposite side of the table. "There's someone here to see you."

Joey turned her head and smiled up at Pacey, the troubled blue of his eyes the only other thing that seemed real. Tears flooded her eyes again and she pursed her lips together to hold in the threatening sob.

He cleared his throat, his own tears threatening. "Hey, Potter."

"Oh." She lost the fight and felt the tears burning tracks along her skin until they disappeared in her hair. "I'm so scared, Pacey."

He nodded, tears slipping past his long lashes. "I know."

Jessica squeezed her hand and looked Joey in the eye as she turned her attention to her. "Joey? Are you sure this is what you want to do?"

She swallowed the lump in her throat and closed her eyes, nodding her head silently. She heard Pacey whimper softly, his hand finding hers blindly.

"Okay, we're going to begin, and the whole procedure should take about ten to twenty minutes. I want you to just try and relax as much as possible. Just close your eyes."

Joey mewled as she felt the sharp prick of the injection, screwing her eyes closed even further. She felt Pacey shift, turning his body away from the doctors so that he was facing her, staring down at her.

"It's okay," he whispered softly. "Just think about something good. Something beautiful."

"You were the last good thing in my life," she reminded him. "Sailing away…" she gasped, grasping his hand tighter.

Pacey started to speak, stopping at the soft sounds, closing his eyes, wishing he could close his ears, shut out the quiet rush of air. "Re…" his voice broke and he struggled to speak. "Remember that lady in Georgia? The one who was convinced that we were criminals? And she called the police on us, trying to convince them we were the reincarnation of Bonnie and Clyde?"

Joey shook her head, tears spilling down her cheeks. "I don't want to be reminded, Pacey. I don't want to remember what I don't have." Her body was shaking with soft sobs, not loud enough to drown out the sounds filling the room. She tried to release his hand and he refused to let her, clinging to it for his own sake as well as hers.

"Joey? Joey. Honey." He knelt down, trying to capture her gaze. "Potter."

"Pacey, it hurts." Her chest rose and fell with every sob, every breath. "How can I do this, Pacey? How?"

He stood, leaning forward and peppering her forehead and cheeks with kisses, tasting the salty tears on her lashes. "It's okay, Potter. It's almost over. It's almost over and I'm here."

"Pacey…" She stopped speaking, surrendering to silent sobs as the sound finally stopped. He inhaled her breath, trying to steal some of her sorrow as the noises faded away, leaving them both alone in her pain.

~**~  
He left the room dark as he walked into it, carrying Joey, navigating the room with the help of the milky gold light that filtered in through the open door. He set her on the bed, watching for a moment as she curled back in on herself, whimpering softly against a sudden wave of pain.

"Should I call the doctor?"

"No." She shook her head, the movement barely registering. "It's okay."

Pacey turned on the bedside lamp before moving over to the door and closing it. With a sigh, he sank down into the seat across from her and closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the rough upholstery. "I don't think I've ever been this tired."

"Me either." She struggled to sit up, crying out as a sharp pain lanced through her. Pacey was at her side immediately, helping to ease her back onto the pillows. "I'm okay."

"Yeah, the piercing scream really gave that away." He stroked her hair out of her face. "Why don't you lie down?"

"I never thought this far, you know that?" She let him pull her against him, relaxing against his chest, listening to the rise and fall of his breath. "I made the decision and I never thought about what would happen after. I mean, how am I going to face people, Pacey? How do I look them in the eye?"

"You haven't done anything wrong, Joey." His voice was almost a whisper, but still reassuring. "You made a choice."

"The rest of my life, I'm going to wonder." She shook her head and pulled away from him, flinching as she sat up and another wave of pain rode along her spine. "So many what ifs in my life and I'm only 19." She felt the tears and didn't bother to stop them, letting them run unabated down her cheeks. "How do I just pretend everything's the same, Pacey?"

"You don't, Joey. You just go on and if people wonder, they wonder. And at some point, if you want to tell them, you tell them." He stayed still, wanting to offer comfort, but somehow knowing she wasn't ready to accept it. "If…if it helps at all…" He looked away, staring at the blank TV screen rather than run the risk of meeting her gaze. "I think you did the right thing."

"Really?" The word held no hope, no relief. Merely curiosity. He forced himself to look at her, shrugging.

"You've got your whole life ahead of you, Joey. You've got all these possibilities…" He reached out and touched her hair, stroking it with trembling fingers. "You deserve the best, Jo."

She smiled and laughed softly, a fresh fall of tears scattering on the bed. "I never deserved you, Pacey Witter."

"That's true." He laughed as well, slumping back against the headboard. "Can I ask you a question?"

She looked back at him over her shoulder, her eyes wary. "What?"

"In there…today." The words caught in his throat and he swallowed, closing his eyes briefly. "I thought about what you said, about when we were in school, when we were together. And…I just…" He looked at her, his blue eyes awash in pain. "What would you have done?"

"Don't ask me that, Pacey." She turned and faced him, instinctively leaning into the hand that held her hair, framed one side of her face. "I can't answer that. That was a lifetime ago. A different girl." Her eyes closed as she turned her head slightly, her lips brushing his palm. "A different boy."

His voice rumbled with the words, his eyes heavy with emotion as he leaned into her, his breath warm on her lips. "Not so different."

"Pacey…" his name was lost somewhere in the kiss as his tongue slid into her mouth. He was tender, his hands tracing her skin as if she was fine china, fragile or already broken. He touched her hair, her face, her shoulders, his fingers trembling over her body. She was still kissing him, touching him in return as she leaned into him.

She shifted in his arms, wincing with the movement. Without breaking away from her kiss, he lay her back on the bed, his body beside hers as his hand moved down her arm, threading their fingers together as she gasped softly, moving into him.

"Joey," he broke away, his fingers moving, held against her lips as he caught his breath. They moved against the tender flesh, and he groaned softly as she sucked the tip of his finger into her mouth, tasting him. "Joey."

He was panting softly now as she pulled away from him. His eyes fired with memory as she smiled at him, her hand sliding over his cock which was throbbing painfully against his jeans. His hips left the mattress involuntarily as she stroked him through the denim, his breath leaving his lungs as she unzipped his pants and pressed her hand to the thin cotton of his boxers.

Shivers of heat ran through his blood, converging beneath her hand as she began stroking him, slipping her long fingers under the waistband and wrapping them around his cock. His fingers wound through her silky hair as she rested her head on his chest, her breath weaving through the material of his shirt to harden his nipples.

His hips rocked in time with her hand as he kissed the top of her head, tasting her, smelling her. Feeling her body against his was like being alone at sea, the sun and the salt baked onto their skin. Joey's fingers moved over his cock, slowly at first then building in speed. He could hear her soft words of encouragement, coaxing his orgasm from him, her voice washing over him as her hand curved along the sleek ridge, concentrating on it as her pace increased.

He swallowed hard as he felt his body tighten, his thighs tensed to muscle as they clenched and he arched upward, feeling nothing but her hand as he came.

~**~  
Joey watched him as he struggled to breathe normally, his body shivering as the heat seemed to evaporate around him. She let him pull away, closing her eyes as he got to his feet and headed for the bathroom. "I'm sorry," she whispered, more to herself than to his disappearing form.

Pacey stared at himself in the mirror, unable to read his own expression. Guilt swam through him like a shark, feeding off every lingering pleasant emotion. He closed his eyes and leaned on the counter, pressing his head against the cold glass of the mirror.

Twenty minutes later, he forced himself to stand up straight and walked back into the room. He stopped in the doorway. Joey was still on the bed, curled around a pillow. Another wave of guilt, this one completely separate from the last, hit him as he walked toward her, kneeling beside the bed.

"Are you all right?"

"It's not hurting."

The corner of his mouth lifted and he shook his head. "That's not what I asked you."

"I'm sorry." She made sure he heard her this time, looking him straight in the eye. "That…that shouldn't have happened."

"No." He nodded. "It shouldn't have."

She turned her head away, staring up at the ceiling, watching the soft flecks embedded in the plaster sparkle in the faint light. They were almost like stars. "You're with Audrey."

"Tonight I'm with you."

"I don't want you for just one night, Pacey." She tried to spy constellations in the flickers. "And that's all you have to offer me."

"Jo…"

"Don't." She shook her head, bringing her legs closer to her chest, the pillow serving as both a physical and emotional barrier between them. "I think it hurts to much to hear."

~**~  
Pacey opened his eyes and stared up at the ceiling for a moment before turning on his side, listening to Joey, watching her chest rise and fall with every breath.

She'd fallen asleep almost immediately, oceans of mattress between them. He'd watched her for a long time, unable to turn away from the small twinges of pain that threatened to wake her. "What now, Joey?" He whispered the words, but wasn't surprised when she responded.

"I don't know. Just do everything I'd planned to do before, I guess." She kept her eyes closed. "Only I feel empty inside." She shrugged. "They told me all the physical things to do now. But the emotional…"

He let the word hang in the air before sighing softly. "Are you going to see him again?"

She turned her head and looked at him, her eyes laced with pain. "David?" When he nodded, she sighed in return. "No. I'll mail back anything left after the hotel room, but… In his mind, it's done. And I guess it is."

"I'm sure it's not that easy, Jo. For either of you."

She climbed off the bed and walked over to the dresser, staring at herself in the mirror above it. "I'm sorry about all of this, Pacey." She dropped her eyes as he caught her gaze. "Sorry that I told you, sorry that I asked this of you. Sorry about you and Audrey."

He followed her, coming up behind her and watching her continue to avoid his eyes in the mirror. His hands settled on her shoulders, rubbing them lightly as she slowly raised her eyes. "We're friends, Joey. When all the other stuff is said and done, we're still friends."

"I saw your eyes in there, Pacey." This time it was her searching for his gaze as he dropped it, watching her hands as they gripped the edge of the dresser. "I shouldn't have put you through that."

"I wouldn't have let you go through it alone."

"It wasn't your place."

He lifted his eyes and held hers, his hands sliding down her arms, slowly stroking them through her shirt. "It could have been."

He felt her breath hitch as she shook her head. "I need…" she cleared her throat, her voice hoarse and trembling. "I need you to take me home, Pacey."

He nodded, backing away from her. She nearly stumbled as she released the dresser, her knuckles remaining white for a few seconds until blood rushed back into them. She grabbed her jacket and headed for the door, not looking at him as she fumbled with the lock.

"Joey."

She shook her head, refusing to turn around. "No, Pacey. Just…just take me home, okay?"

He sighed and nodded, moving up behind her. She put distance between them and let him open the door, hurrying out to Danny's car as he checked the room quickly. He unlocked her door then moved around to the driver's side and slid in, glancing at her through the corner of his eye. "Home?"

"Yes. Please."

He nodded and started the car, driving in silence the rest of the way to her dorm. He'd stopped just on the outskirts of Boston, so it was a short drive, though Joey's constant nervous looks in his direction made it seem longer.

Pulling up outside her dorm, he reached over and grabbed her hand before she could move, holding her there for a moment. "Are you going to be okay, Jo?"

"Yes." She managed a smile for him, still not quite meeting his eyes. "I'll be fine, Pacey."

"I'm going to call you."

"You don't have to call me."

"I'm going to call you. Check on you."

She nodded, climbing out of the car. She headed for the dorms, turning once she reached the door and looking back, waving until he was out of sight. Pacey wanted to believe it was simply a friendly gesture, but he couldn't help feeling that it was more to make sure he was actually gone.

**

"Hey, Witter." Danny grabbed Pacey by the back of his coat and jerked him to a stop. "In my office. Now."

Pacey turned midstep and followed Danny through the swinging doors, settling into the chair in front of the desk before Danny had even reached his seat. "What did I do now?"

"Nothin'." Danny pulled a bottle from his desk. "It just occurred to me that we haven't talked at all since the last time we talked. And it occurred to me that you're avoiding talking to me. Which made me realize that we need to talk." He broke the seal and handed the bottle to Pacey. "So talk."

Pacey looked at the bottle then at Danny before shrugging and slugging down a shot. He wiped his lips with the back of his hand and passed the bottle back. "What do you want to know?"

"You borrowed my car and took a day off. Then you called and begged for two more. Tell me what's going on." Danny took a drink then slid the bottle toward Pacey.

"Nothing much to tell." Pacey stared at the amber liquid before taking a drink, lowering the bottle without passing it back. "We went upstate to a clinic. We listened to a counselor. We…she got an abortion."

"There's an awful lot of plural pronouns in that speech there, Pace."

"I couldn't make her do it alone." He glared defiantly at his boss. "She was scared and hurt, Danny. You didn't have to see her eyes, begging me to be there with her."

"I've seen her eyes, Pacey."

He nodded and took another drink. "Sorry."

Danny reached for the bottle. "That doesn't exactly explain what's been going on with you the last week." He took a drink, looking at Pacey over the rim of the bottle. "You've been avoiding me, avoiding Audrey. And you don't look like a man who's suddenly rediscovered the love of his life."

Pacey grabbed the bottle and took another long pull. "Joey won't talk to me." Danny raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything. Pacey sighed and leaned back in his chair, his head against the back, his eyes averted. "The day…after the…" He blew out a breath and started again. "That night, she didn't want to go home. Since Audrey and I split up, things haven't been that great for her at the dorm and she didn't want to go back to the boat." Shifting uncomfortably in his seat, Pacey's eyes darted from the bottle to Danny then back again. "So we got a hotel room outside of town."

Danny was still silent, although his eyes widened, speaking volumes.

"We talked. A little." Pacey took another hard swallow of Jack Daniel's. When Danny refused to stop looking at him, he blew out his breath. "We didn't have sex."

"Given what had just happened with Joey, I didn't think you did."

"It was just…" Pacey took another drink then forced the bottle back to Danny. "We were just talking. And then we were kissing." He rubbed his forehead, glancing up sheepishly. "And then she was…fuck."

Danny took a drink, saying nothing and giving Pacey time. After a long pause, he offered the bottle again. "Blow job?"

"Hand." He could feel the heat burning his skin. "And then after…I…the first thing I could think of was how good it felt. And then all I could think of was that I was supposed to be with Audrey, even though she'd broken up with me. And then I kept thinking about how Joey didn't deserve to be caught in the middle of all this on top of everything else."

"Joey sort of put herself in the middle of all of this by telling you."

He shook off Danny's reminder. "She needed someone."

"I thought this Dawson guy was her best friend." Danny said the words carefully, watching Pacey's body stiffen slightly. "I mean, wasn't that part of the problem with your relationship with her? Seems to me I remember Audrey flipping you shit about that one day."

"Joey and Dawson…Dawson wouldn't have understood. They may have known each other most of their lives and they may say they're friends until the day they die, but they're…they're more each other's judge, jury and executioner." He took the bottle and stared at the remnants, swirling them around before downing the rest of its contents. "He wouldn't have been there for her. He couldn't have been. He would have made her choose what he wanted for her. For him. Not what…not what was best for her. Right for her."

"And you did?"

"I didn't tell her what to do, Danny. I just went along with whatever she decided." He looked into the empty bottle and sighed. "She hasn't talked to me. Won't return my calls. Never seems to be home when I drop by."

"You drop by?"

"When Audrey's at work." He rubbed the top of his head, his fingers raking tracks through his hair. "She won't talk to me. And it scares me."

"Why?"

"When…" He looked around the room then got to his feet, walking over to Danny's bookcase and rifling through the papers stacked on top of it. "The next day, before we left the hotel…" He glanced back over his shoulder then turned away. "It hurt to leave her, Danny. It hurt to look at her in so much pain and it hurt like hell to drive away. And now I lie awake nights wondering if it's too late to call her. Wondering if I should just say 'fuck Audrey' and go over there and see her. Make her see me."

Danny glanced at the door as it moved, swinging slightly. The quick flash of blonde registered at the same time Pacey's comments did and he winced, making sure Pacey was still staring at the wall.

"And then I'm scared to death that she will see me."

"And feel the same way?"

"Or that the second she doesn't need me, as soon as she's not in pain, it'll be just like it was before. Her fixated on someone else, on something else. That I won't fit into her life."

"And then there's Audrey."

Pacey's shoulders slumped and he moved back to the chair, practically collapsing in it. "Yeah." He closed his eyes, rubbing them. "Yeah."

"What about her?"

"If I knew that, I wouldn't be sitting in your office getting drunk."

"That's probably true." Danny stood up and jangled his keys with one hand while the other pulled out another bottle of whiskey. "Come on. I'll drive you home. You can get drunk there."

"Think it'll help?"

"No."

Pacey followed him out of the office, sighing as he nodded. "Me either."

~**~  
Audrey slammed the door, glaring at her roommate's bed. It was empty. It seemed like it was always empty. Joey was always gone when she woke up and came in after she'd gone to bed. Of course, without Pacey's boat to go to after class, she was usually in bed early.

"Fuck Audrey," she sneered to Joey's bed as she flopped down on hers. "That's what he wants to say, Joey Potter. Fuck Audrey." She grabbed her pillow and pulled it to her chest, hiding her face in it. "Not that he hasn't done that already."

She was silent for a long time, feeling the burning sting of tears behind her eyes. "I really like him, Joey."

The empty room offered her no response as she got off the bed and moved over to Joey's desk. The top was clean, clear of anything that might identify it as Joey's. No pictures anymore. No pencils or books or papers. It didn't surprise her. Joey had been excessively neat lately, picking up after the both of them without comment.

Audrey sighed. She missed Joey giving her shit about picking up the room. About classes. About boys.

Men.

Pacey.

She shoved away from Joey's desk and flopped back on her bed, the pillow cradled to her chest. "Fuck."

Halfway through the word she heard the doorknob rattle and sat up, blinking to push back any threatening tears. The following knock forced a sigh and she got off the bed, moving over to the door and opening it.

"Hey." Jen smiled and held up a basket. "I've come from Grandmother's house. I have cookies. Says they're for Joey, but I say we eat a few ourselves."

Audrey laughed bitterly. "Why not? Apparently everything I take is Joey's anyway."

"Oh. Ouch." Jen walked into the room and dropped the basket on Joey's desk before moving to join Audrey on her bed. She was hunched against the headboard, glaring sullenly at her metallic blue toenails. "You want to talk about it?"

"No." She shook her head angrily. "It's just…he was my boyfriend. She knew he was my boyfriend. She told me to have him as a boyfriend."

"But she went after him? And he broke up with you?"

"No." Audrey's brow furrowed. "I broke up with him."

"Because he was going after Joey?"

"We were having sex!" Audrey slammed her fist into her pillow angrily. "And she called. Right in the middle...well, almost at the end and he left me. LEFT me." She growled. "To turn off her fucking voice."

"Maybe it ruined the mood?" Jen stretched out on the bed, glancing over her shoulder at Joey's side of the room. "I mean, I don't think I'd want to be hearing Joey's voice while Dawson and I were…"

"Right. But would you want him to leave you writhing around, about to climax while he tended to Joey?"

"Did he talk to her?"

"No. He just turned off the machine, but it's the principle of the thing." Audrey sat up and crossed her arms over her chest. "She kissed him."

"What?"

"After she broke up with the Professor. She was all sad and mopey and he brought her home and she kissed him."

"Did he kiss her back?"

"No. He turned her down." Audrey sighed. "You're playing devil's advocate with me."

Jen shook her head, laughing softly. "I don't mean to. I'm just trying to figure out what's been going on while I've been off in couple-land with Dawson."

"Everything."

"I can see that."

"He was seeing her. He was all distance-y and weird. And then one night, I got out of class early and they were together on the boat and the door was locked. I saw her leave and I just…" Audrey sighed and slumped back again. "I really like him."

"I kinda got that."

"But I can't compete with her." Raking her hands through her hair, Audrey got off the bed and walked over to Joey's desk again. She ran her fingertips over it, looking over her shoulder at Jen. "Today I was at the restaurant and I overheard him talking to Danny."

"And?"

"And it wasn't good." She pulled out Joey's chair and sat down, resting her elbows on her knees. "He said 'fuck Audrey.' And I'm pretty sure he didn't mean it in a good way."

"Have you talked to him? Talked to her?" Jen rolled onto her other side so she could see Audrey. "Maybe you're seeing something that isn't there? Or isn't quite there. Maybe you're making a lot out of nothing?"

"But maybe I'm not. You have to admit that's a possibility."

Jen was silent for a long time before nodding. "True. But until you talk to them, you're not going to know."

"They're both avoiding me."

Jen got off the bed and moved over to hug Audrey tightly. Kissing her on the top of the head, she snagged a cookie out of the basket then held out her free hand. "You just have to stop giving them the choice."

"Is that what I'm doing now?"

"Nope. Now," she opened the door and tugged Audrey after her, "we're going shopping."

~**~  
Joey fell onto her bed and closed her eyes, her arm thrown over them for good measure. She was tired on every level, the cramps had faded to frequent twinges, the bleeding stopped. She moved her arm and ran her hand over her face, trying to will herself to her feet.

Turning her head, she noticed the basket on her desk, staring at it suspiciously for a few moments before getting to her feet and walking over. There was a card on top of a pile of cookies, still slightly warm.

She opened it, smiling at Grams's simple signature on the get well card. Tears stung her eyes and she pressed her lips together. She wouldn't cry. Couldn't.

The phone rang and she jumped, dropping the card. She stooped and picked it up, slipping it back in the envelope and placing it in her bottom drawer. The message ended and she heard the beep, followed by a long pause. She heard a soft click and sighed in relief, glad that it wasn't another message she couldn't return.

"Jo?"

She closed her eyes as her chest tightened, her heart racing. She could hear the thick slur of liquor in his voice, deep and full even through the tinny sound of the machine.

"Joey?" He sighed as she sat down, her eyes still closed, imagining the word breathed over her skin. "Did I scare you, Joey? Is that why you're hiding from me?" He cleared his throat. "I wrote a speech. I did it when I was sort of sober, so it might make sense. I'm not sure. A lot of the words look like they're written in Hebrew. Which I didn't know I knew."

She chuckled softly, leaning back on the bed and turning on her side. She pressed her hands together and laid them on the pillow, her cheek resting on the cushion they made.

"I'm sorry, Jo. I'm sorry for whatever I did that's making you avoid me. Sorry if I went to fast or said the wrong thing. Sorry if touching you was wrong. Or maybe it was the apologizing that was wrong."

"I'm not sorry for kissing you." His voice faltered, emotion overwhelming the alcohol. "I've never been sorry for that." His sigh seemed to shiver around her. "I've been doing some thinking, Jo. And I think that I wish I'd been the father."

"No." She shook her head, tears leaking from her closed eyes.

"I mean, I know that what's-his-name had the money to take care of everything, but emotionally, Joey… Actually, I just wish that this had never happened. I wish that you'd shown up that day with a report card or a jaywalking ticket or anything else that wouldn't have ripped my heart out."

A tremulous smile flickered over her lips as he paused, the soft click now obviously the sound of a bottle. His voice was scratchy when he spoke again and she wondered briefly what he was drinking.

"I love you, Joey."

Her hand shot out to the phone, hovering over the receiver. She held her body rigid, wanting to pick it up, but fear keeping her from doing so.

"Looking down at you that day, staring into your eyes and feeling that rush of emotion…I thought maybe it would make me feel different about you. But it didn't, Joey. It just made it worse. Made loving you worse."

Her lips mouthed his name, but she pulled her hand back, pressing it to her trembling lips as she fought back tears.

"Nobody makes me feel like you do, Joey. And for a second there, in that room, I let myself get lost in the fantasy that we were older and we…we wanted this baby and instead of them…instead of that noise it was this frantic pushing and breathing and this cry. I kept waiting for the cry, Joey."

She turned away from the phone, burying her face in the pillow. Tears shook her body, wracking it with painful sobs. His voice was thicker now, the sound of tears adding a raspy quality to it.

"I know you don't want to hear this. We've both agreed that we're better off moving on. But…I know this scared you, Jo. And I know that you're afraid that everyone's going to think less of you or hate you or judge you. And I can't promise you that some people won't think of you differently. But I can promise you that I won't. I can promise that I love you. That I'll always love you."

"I love you too," she whispered.

"I'm home tonight, Joey. Alone." He spoke the words clearly, sounding almost sober. "Waiting."

She listened to the click and waited a few minutes as the answering machine stopped and the whir of it rewinding filled the room. Closing her eyes, she reached over, her fingers hovering over the buttons. She pressed play and waited until his voice filled the room, feeling it rush through her.

Then she reached over again and pressed erase.

~**~  
The door swung open at Audrey's knock. Pacey stood there expectantly, his blue eyes suddenly unreadable. She swallowed, her gaze shifting so she was staring at the wall beyond him. "Can I come in?"

He ran a hand through his already messed up hair. "I'm drunk, Audrey."

"Please?"

He blew out a long breath and shrugged, stepping back so she could enter. He lifted the beer bottle he'd been holding to his lips and took a drink, pushing the door shut as he did so.

She looked back at him over her shoulder then sat down at the small table. Her hands moved restlessly to the empty whiskey bottle, picking it up and tracing the rim with her fingertip before dipping it inside then raising it to her lips.

Pacey moved over and sat across from her. "What brings you here, Audrey?"

"I've been thinking."

"And I've been drinking." He smirked and took another pull from the beer. "We're a veritable country song."

"I was unfair."

He set his beer down, staring at the bottle for a long time before looking at her. "I've had at least a bottle of whiskey and two beers. You're going to have to be a hell of a lot less cryptic."

"I jumped to conclusions about you and Joey. I wasn't fair."

His jaw was set and tight, his pulse pounding. "No. You weren't."

She sighed as he lifted his beer. "Is there more?"

"No." Shaking his head, Pacey got to his feet and moved to her side, sliding in next to her. He held the bottle to his lips, his eyes holding hers as he took a drink.

The heat of his body burned against her, his thigh hard against hers. Bending his head, he leaned in, the cold smooth taste of beer invading her mouth with his tongue. She closed her eyes, the heat of his mouth contrasting with his cool tongue as it found hers, tangling with it as he kissed her.

Audrey whimpered softly, turning her body so he could press against her, pushing them both down onto the long cushion that circled the table. His hands were in her hair, threading through the golden strands as his mouth devoured hers, his tongue trailing over every surface.

Her hips arched up into his as he caught her lower lip. He worried it for a moment then released it, finding her tongue and sucking on it, moving in echo with their hips as they rocked together.

She moaned into his mouth, her hands raking down his back. She clawed at his shirt, pulling it free of his slacks and peeling it off his body. They broke apart long enough for her to toss it over her head, giving him the opportunity to run his hands along her sides. His hands curved over her breasts, caressing them through her shirt until she reached for his shoulders, pulling him back down to her.

Pacey's muscles tightened under her grip and he pulled away, panting hard. He reached blindly for his beer, knocking it over with the back of his hand. Cursing softly, he fought his way out of the confines of the table and covered the short distance to the refrigerator in two strides.

Audrey sat up, dumbstruck as he opened the door, the clink of glass almost obliterating the sound of his heavy breathing. The door shut, dimming the room and she heard the telltale snap of a bottle cap. Getting to her knees on the cushion, she leaned back against the table and watched him down the whole beer in a few fast gulps.

It foamed around his lips, amber trails snaking down to his chest. She crossed her arms over her chest, unsure whether to be angry or defeated. "Are you still in love with Joey?"

"Why the sudden change of heart, Audrey? I haven't seen you for two weeks and now you're back on my doorstep again."

"I talked to Jen. Thought things over." She shrugged, watching a drop of beer make its way to his flat stomach. "I came here to talk. You kissed me."

"I did." He blew out his breath and leaned back against the counter, lifting the bottle to his lips again. It was empty, but he slid his tongue just inside it to capture any last drops.

"You haven't answered my question."

"I don't have an answer, Audrey."

"What's going on, Pacey?" She moved over to the living room area and sat on the couch, holding a pillow against her chest. Every breath still seemed to require her whole body and the heat in the room seemed stifling. "And I won't take 'nothing' for an answer this time. Maybe I shouldn't have before."

"Before you had a right to ask the questions." He moved over to the table and grabbed his shirt, pulling it on. She breathed a soft sigh of relief, watching the expanse of flesh until it was gone. "I don't owe you anything now."

"Maybe not." She nodded. "But you owed me then and you didn't pay in full. The family problem…it was Joey, wasn't it?"

He sat across from her, not looking at her. "Joey's not family."

"Was it yours?"

His eyes shot up to hers. "What?"

"The baby. I won't care if it…no. I will care if it was yours. But it's too late to matter. Was it yours?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"I was bitching to Jen about Joey's behavior lately. How she's so quiet and withdrawn, like she isn't there, even when she's in the same room with you. We started making up reasons for it. Everything from the breakup with David," she noted his wince without comment, "to failing grades. And then Jen said 'maybe she's pregnant'. And it all clicked."

He dropped his eyes. "Does Jen…"

"Know? Suspect? No." She pressed her lips together, her tongue held against the back of them, still tasting him. "Was it yours?"

"How did you know?" He ran a hand through his hair then got up, pacing the small room before moving into the kitchen. He pulled out two beers and opened them, offering her one before he sat back down.

"I remember what it was like." She smirked at his expression, shock coupled with experience. He'd been there in the room. She could tell it from his eyes. "Afterwards, I was a wreck. I didn't want to see anyone, talk to anyone. I put on a decent front for the world, but at home, alone?"

"How old were you?"

"Seventeen." She took a drink of her beer, missing the salty taste of his tongue mixed with it. "Pacey?" He didn't look at her as she spoke his name, the soft sound of it whispering around the room on the heavy air. "Pacey?"

His blue eyes were swimming in tears as he looked up at her, grief etched on his face. "No. It wasn't mine."

Audrey nodded, surprised by the sob that escaped her. Her own tears clouded her vision as she managed a smile. "I didn't think so. But I wasn't sure if that was because I didn't want to believe it." She held out her hand to him and he took it, his fingertips playing over her palm. "When we were together…?"

"It was you, Audrey. When I was with you, it was only you."

She nodded, sniffling back the tears. "Are you in love with her?"

Pacey closed his eyes, still holding her hand, the soft movements of his thumb slightly firmer. He swallowed hard, the words stuck in his throat, in his heart. It was barely a whisper. "Yes."

Audrey's breath trembled and she got down on her knees, moving over between his legs and staring up into his face. "Do you love me?"

The corner of his mouth crooked up and he nodded. "Yes."

"What are you going to do now?"

Pacey sighed and avoided her gaze. "Nothing." He glanced at the clock on the wall. It had been four hours since he called her. Four hours and she'd never come. "I'm going to do nothing."

"Will you need a friend to do nothing with?"

He met her eyes again. "I don't know if I can. Not now. Not yet."

She nodded her understanding and stood up, pulling him to his feet as well. She smiled up at him and stood on tiptoe, pressing her lips lightly to his. "Take your time. I'm not going anywhere."

**

Grams opened the door, smiling as she stepped back out of the way. Seeing Joey hesitate, she shook her head. "The coast is clear, dear. Come on in."  
Joey smiled her thanks and walked into the house, offering the basket to Grams. "Thank you for the cookies."

"The basket was part of the gift, Josephine."

"The basket was an excuse to come see you." She followed Grams into the kitchen and slid onto the stool, smiling at the repeat of her movements. "In case someone was home."

Grams sat next to her, reaching over and setting her hand on top of Joey's. "How are you?"

"Tired. Sore." She looked down at the wrinkled hand on hers. "Sad." Grams nodded but didn't respond, simply offering Joey a small measure of comfort. "It was harder than I thought."

"How do you mean?"

"David. The…the father? I liked him. Cared about him. But I didn't love him. And it was easier. Like you said it would be. Not that…" she sighed. "You didn't say it would be easier. You just said it would be harder if it was someone I loved."

"Who took you, Josephine?"

"Pacey."

Grams nodded at the softly whispered word. "As I suspected."

There was a long silence as Grams moved to the refrigerator and pulled out a pitcher of lemonade. She poured two tall glasses and set one in front of Joey, standing across the counter from her.

Joey listened to the ice clink against the sides of her glass as she lifted the lemonade and took a sip. "Did I do the wrong thing?"

"Do you think you did?"

She chewed her lower lip and refused to look up, staring down into her glass instead. "I don't think I did the fair thing."

"There's an old saying that all is fair in love and war."

"They weren't his emotions to feel though, were they?" Joey sighed and wrapped her hands around the cool glass. "I forced them on him, asked him to be something that he isn't anymore." She paused, drinking more lemonade. "I was scared."

"Understandably."

"Excusably?" Joey asked.

"You're looking for someone to blame you for this, Josephine. And I believe I said the last time we talked that I wouldn't be that person. Did you do the right thing? There are a host of right and wrong things you could have done. As I told you before, there's no right choice. There's only choice."

"He told me he loves me."

"Do you believe him?"

Joey turned away from Grams's stare and slid off her stool, moving over to look at the pictures on the wall. "I want to."

"Because you love him in return?"

"I'm afraid he loves me because of…everything. I'm scared that what we went through is the reason he feels this way."

"Couldn't the same be said for you?" Grams poured more lemonade then returned the pitcher to the fridge. When she returned to the kitchen island, Joey had slid back on the stool. "What about Audrey?"

Joey flinched, the sudden movement causing a cramp to wrap around her spine. She pressed her hand to her stomach, breathing slowly and methodically until the pain subsided. "She broke up with him."

"Was that your intention when you went to him with this?"

Joey slid off her stool and moved to the sink, carrying her glass with her. She drained it then set it carefully in the sink. Her hand shook and, for a moment, she was afraid the glass would shatter against the gleaming enamel. "Not at first. At first I just looked at the test results and didn't think at all. I just knew I needed him."

She sensed more than saw Grams nod. "But when Audrey told me that they were having problems…I think a little part of me felt glad? Relieved? Not happy." Joey shook her head. "Because it made him sad."

Grams slowly drank the lemonade in her glass, not speaking. Joey still stood, staring out the window, her hands wrapped around the edge of the sink.

"Is that love?"

"It's part of it."

Joey sighed. "He called me last night. That's when he said that he loved me."

"So you don't believe him?"

"He wasn't quite…sober. I'm not sure if I should believe him."

"You do know that there's only one way to find the answers to your questions, don't you, Josephine?"

She smiled, though it didn't quite reach her eyes. "I think at this point, you really have to start calling me Joey."

"Fair enough." Grams smiled. "Joey." She moved back beside Joey and sat down, staring at the window above the sink. "What are you going to do?"

Joey shrugged, her shoulders shaking slightly as she fought off tears. "I don't know that I can handle it if he doesn't really love me. Or if he doesn't love me enough."

"You've hurt each other quite a bit." Grams's voice was soft and knowing, non-judgmental. "People in love have a tendency to do that. There's no way around it."

"Except not to love?"

"Joey?"

Joey nodded, unsure she could talk without crying.

"Whatever you do decide to do? Make sure you do it for the right reasons. Make sure you love him for the right reasons."

"How do I know?"

Grams shook her head, staring someplace Joey couldn't see. "You know." She turned and smiled at her, the distance still in her eyes. "You know.

~**~  
"Stop. For the love of God, stop." Pacey wrenched open the door and squinted, flinching back from the sunlight. "Stop knocking. I'm here."

"Barely."

He focused on her as she stepped in the path of the sun, her face in shadow. He reigned in as much emotion as he could, his eyes wary. "What brings you here?"

"You."

He nodded once and stepped back, allowing her into the room. He shut the door and moved directly to the kitchen. "I need coffee. You want some?"

"No. Thanks." It was obvious that he'd just woken up. His hair stood up on end, his boxers were half twisted and his chest was bare. She leaned against the counter as he bent over to grab the coffee filter he dropped and she closed her eyes, the image of the thin fabric stretched over his ass burned into her brain.

"What time is it?"

"After noon." She looked at the bottles littering the kitchen table. "Late night?"

"I was waiting for someone."

She nodded, accepting the dig as he scooped coffee. "Are you still waiting?"

He turned around and looked at her for a long time. She held his gaze, refusing to look away. He smirked and shook his head. "I'll be right back."

Joey walked over to the couch and sank onto it, closing her eyes and letting her head rest on the back cushion. The coffee finished perking before he returned, so she got up and poured him a cup. He came around the corner as she finished, watching her hands as she set the pot back on the burner.

He'd showered, shaved and dressed, though his eyes were still bloodshot, bags beneath them. "Do you still take it black?"

He accepted the cup without a word and walked over to the wall, staring out the porthole. "What are you doing here, Joey?"

"I was invited." He didn't say anything in response, simply blew on his coffee before taking a sip. "If I had come last night, Pacey, it would have been about emotion. Pure and raw and painful."

"This isn't painful?"

"This is…this is painful," she agreed. "But this isn't acting on gut instinct. If I had come last night, Pacey, you wouldn't have woken up alone this morning."

"What makes you think I didn't?"

Her eyes threatened to dart to the bedroom door, but she managed to stop herself in time, keeping her eyes on his. "We would have slept together and it would have been too soon for both of us. We would have regretted it."

He took another sip from his cup then looked back out the window. "What are you doing here, Joey?"

"I love you, too."

He closed his eyes as the words washed over him. He could hear her move around the counter and approach him. "I was drunk last night, Joey."

"I know." She didn't stop walking until she stood next to him. Her hand was warm on his shoulder, even through his shirt. "I got scared. Scareder." She smiled at the word, trying to hide her nervousness. "I shouldn't have asked you, Pacey."

"I'm glad you asked me, Jo." He set his coffee mug down and turned to her, his blue eyes dangerously hot. "I think it would have killed me if you'd asked anyone else."

She reached out and pressed her fingers against his lips. "I wish I hadn't asked you because all I can think right now is that maybe you only want to love me right now because I've stirred this all up inside you. And maybe I only want to love you because you were there for me."

"Is that what you think?"

He looked wounded, almost as much pain in his eyes as the day he'd looked down on her, watched her give up a life she'd help create. "I know I love you, Pacey. And I believe." She grabbed his arm and held it over her heart. "Here. That you love me. But I believed that before we broke up, before you left Capeside. I won't stop believing it. Ever."

"But."

"But you're in love with the Joey that needs you. And the Joey that needs you loves you back. But that's not who we are most of the time, Pacey. And until those…other selves of ours can fall in love…we're not ready. Not again. Because if we mess it up this time, I'm scared we won't get another chance."

He nodded, his hand on her chest trembling as it moved slightly, cupping her breast. They both stared at it, watching it move slowly, the thumb sweeping lightly over the hardening nipple. Joey's lips parted slightly and she shook her head, taking a step forward as he leaned down to kiss her. His tongue was slow and soft, exploring her as his hand did the same, smoothing over fabric with infinite care.

Her hands threaded through his short hair as she pressed her body to his. His hands stayed trapped between them, barely stroking her nipples as she found the nape of his neck, her nails scraping over the sensitive skin.

Pacey moaned softly and shook his head, breaking the kiss as he bent down and lifted her, holding her slight weight in his arms. He looked down into her eyes, reflected passion shining back at him. Her hand stroked his cheek then trailed over his slightly stubbled jaw to his lips, holding them closed with her fingertips.

He lifted her, carrying her the short distance to the bedroom, setting her down just inside the door. She watched him shut it then turn his eyes to her questioningly. Expectantly. Joey traced his eyebrows with both hands, then framed his face, moving up to kiss him. He stood still, letting her feel her way around his mouth, taste him, taste the lingering mint of his toothpaste, the bitterness of the coffee.

Her hands moved down as she kissed his jaw then his throat, peppering his skin with soft, moist kisses as her fingers found the buttons of his shirt, undoing them despite her trembling. As each one came free, she paused, pressing her fingers to his skin, rubbing it lightly before moving on to the next.

He was shaking slightly when she finished, his shirt hanging on his shoulders, her hands resting just above his belt. He could feel her fingertips brush the dark hairs there and wondered if their slight movement was from her or from him.

Closing her eyes, Joey ran her hands back up Pacey's bare chest, her palms brushing over his nipples. His knees buckled slightly and he moaned softly, his hands clenching at her elbows. She stilled until he was standing almost steady and moved her hands again, pushing his shirt off his body with one easy gesture.

She took a step closer and bent her head, pressing her mouth to his nipple. Her tongue darted out and brushed the hard tip, sending a quiver along his spine. Pacey moaned again and she worked her way over to the other nipple, giving it the same treatment.

His hands tangled in her hair, threading through the silky strands as she continued tasting his flesh, her hands stroking his abdomen lightly as they worked their way down to his belt buckle. She undid it easily then unbuttoned and unzipped his pants, parting the material and leaving it hanging on the slight curve of his hips.

Pulling back, Joey looked up at him with eyes awash in emotion. He recognized all of them, from passion and hunger to love and fear. He brushed the back of his hand over her cheek then let it tangle in her hair, holding her as he kissed her. She murmured her assent into his mouth, her tongue sliding along his hungrily.

He found the hem of her shirt with one hand, sliding his fingers beneath it. Her skin was hot, burning to his touch. He dropped his other hand to her waist and gathered the material, easing it over her head. She watched as it fell, seeming in slow motion as she felt his eyes on her.

She'd missed this most of all. He made love to her with his eyes. He touched and loved every part of her with his eyes before he even touched her with his body. She felt her nipples tighten even more as he ran his eyes over them, his hunger clear as his tongue slid over his lips.

His fingers were gentle as they eased the bra straps down her shoulders, letting them rest on her arms as he traced the lacy edge of the cup down to the front clasp. It opened with a simple gesture, the fabric falling without provocation.

She stepped back as he advanced, feeling the mattress against the back of her legs. He held her hands and guided her down, slipping to his knees between her parted legs as she sat. He kissed her again softly, his lips barely grazing hers as he moved his hands to her hips and bent his head, feathering kisses along her collarbone. She closed her eyes, reveling in the whispered sensation.

Then suddenly his mouth was on her breast and she cried out his name, her hands holding his head to her chest. His tongue bathed the hard tip as he sucked lightly, pulling back only to tease the taut skin with the light scrape of his teeth.

Joey's breathing shifted, speeding up as his hands moved up her back, stroking her skin with his fingertips, kneading the tightness from her shoulders. Heat pooled between her legs as he moved even closer, his mouth still on her breast, the heady pleasure of his lips and tongue against her flesh moving slowly to the other side as he brought one hand up to cover the skin suddenly cooling in the thick air of the room.

Her hands moved over his body, touching all of him. His arms, his face, his back and shoulders, needing the contact with his skin. Her body writhed in pleasure as he continued to torment her with his mouth until she wanted to scream. Tangling her fingers in his thick hair, she tugged, the whimpered pleading falling from her lips.

He pulled back, his eyes immediately going to hers. Joey stood up and unfastened her jeans, pushing them past her hips. He caught the denim and tugged it down, exposing her long, tanned thighs. The dark triangle of hair was visible through the sheer pale blue of her panties, tauntingly close to his mouth. His tongue darted out and slid over the fabric as Joey's nails sunk into his shoulders, trying to remain on her feet.

Pacey's hands skimmed the outside of her thighs, stopping when he reached the thin waistband of her panties. He hooked his fingers under and pulled gently, guiding them down her legs. He glanced up at her, seeing nothing but warm, soft flesh as he kissed the inside of her thigh. Joey trembled, the quiet sound barely registering as his head swam with the heated scent of her.

He wasn't sure if he guided her to the bed or if she fell. All he knew was that he was between her thighs and the taste of her was on his tongue. He groaned softly as he found her clit, the light flickers eliciting matching sounds from Joey's lips. He kissed the swollen skin, licking and sucking at it carefully, his hands stroking the underside of her thighs then sliding up to cup her ass. Joey made a quiet sound as he lifted her, whimpering his name over and over as she begged him not to stop.

His tongue slipped inside her, thrusting slowly. Joey was moving with every stroke, his hands barely holding her as she writhed above him. He pressed the tip of his tongue to the liquid flesh and her hands clenched in his hair, her body arching off the bed as she came, the taste of her flooding his senses.

Joey lay on the bed, panting heavily as he stood up, her whole body awash in satisfaction. She held his eyes as he kicked off his jeans and boxers, kneeling on the mattress between her spread legs. She inched up the bed, giving him more room, her hand reaching out tentatively. Her thumb brushed the tip of his cock and his eyes fluttered closed. Swallowing hard, Pacey reached out and caught her chin, forcing her to continue looking at him.

"Are you sure?" he whispered.

Joey nodded, leaning in to kiss him. "I've never been more sure, Pacey."

He released her and moved away, coming around to the edge of the bed. He opened the nightstand and withdrew a condom, opening the silver package without a word. Joey's eyes were locked on it, watching as he removed the thin latex and slid it on. He looked at her over his shoulder, closing his eyes as her hair fell against his skin as she leaned into him, running her hand along his sheathed cock.

Pacey shuddered and reached for her hand, his body tight. She looked up, immediately understanding, pulling away and lying back on the bed. Pacey watched her for a moment before leaning over and kissing her softly. She sighed as her mouth opened up to him, the sound lengthening into a moan as he moved over her, his knees slowly spreading her legs apart.

"Pacey." He stopped immediately at the slightly panicked sound, and met her eyes. She shook her head. "I want to see you."

He nodded, leaning down to kiss her once more briefly before holding her gaze as he slid inside her, his hips barely moving as he filled her. Joey's eyes were barely open, her long lashes hiding her gaze from him as he stopped, his body flush against hers. They lay there silently, the moment shimmering with unspoken words and emotions.

They began moving as one, no signal given as her hips met his, rocking into one another slowly. He pulled away from her then pushed inside, the heat and wetness of her body clutching at him. She gasped with every thrust, her nails scratching lightly at his skin, somehow reassuring him that there was no pain.

He could feel her surround him, pushing against him with every slow, steady thrust. His head was light, faint, swimming in the scent of her, of them. He tasted sweat on her skin as he licked and kissed her, every downward stroke a resting period of mouths and tongues and whispered words, reassurances.

Joey moaned quietly as Pacey sucked her lower lip into his mouth, tracing it with his tongue. She ran her nails over his shoulders then to his neck, trailing one painted nail down to the hollow of his throat. He swallowed on reflex, groaned on instinct. Joey took advantage of the slight release of tension to slip one of her legs over the back of his, her lips close to his ear as she whispered just one word to him.

"Faster."

The muscles of his arms tightened and his whole body shuddered, the sensation like a tiny earthquake inside her. His hips responded to her whispered plea, increasing the pace to match her own. Her hair was fanned out on his pillow as he lowered himself to his elbows, framing her face as he kissed her, tasting her as he began to lose control.

Joey wrapped her other leg around him, no space between them as he nibbled her shoulder, her earlobe, his hot breath like a puff of desire fueling the heat that pulsed around him. Her body was wracked with shallow pants, gulping nothing in an effort to breathe him in.

Pacey whispered her name in her hair, his body jerking inside hers. She closed her eyes as he buried himself in her, barely thrusting as he just pushed, wanting deeper. After a few long minutes, he raised his head and looked into her eyes, smiling down at her. She started to say something, stopping as he began moving again, shifting positions inside her so that every stroke brushed against her clit.

Her body burned with every thrust. She ground against him as he pushed inside her, wanting more, feeling the cusp of her orgasm dance just out of reach. He raked his hands through her hair and pulled gently, capturing her lips with his as he held her, unable to move.

She groaned, her body rising off the bed and colliding with his. Her body closed around him, her muscles spasming as her orgasm swept through her. She could feel him thrusting against the rush, stroking into it, into her. He watched her as she fell back to the bed, her satisfied smile following him as he slipped off the bed and into the bathroom.

She was still smiling when he returned, her eyes watching him. He lay next to her on the bed, his fingers lightly trailing over her stomach. "You okay? No pain?"

"No." She shook her head before meeting his gaze, her eyes like melted chocolate. "No pain."

She touched his lips, sighing softly as he kissed her fingertips. His hand slid up her body, caressing the soft swell of her breast. He held her gaze, a sad hunger in his eyes. "Stay the night?"

"No." She kissed him, her lips lingering on his for a moment before she pulled away and sat up, looking at him over her shoulder. "I think I need to go."

"What's next?"

"Are we still…can we be friends, you mean?" He nodded and she shrugged, turning her head as she blew out a low breath. "I want that, Pacey. I can't imagine my life without you."

He watched her dress, memorizing her. "I don't think you have to worry. You're pretty much stuck with me."

She pulled her jeans on and returned to the bed, her shirt in her hands. "What about you and Audrey?"

He sat up, watching her eyes. "We're in a holding pattern. Waiting."

"We're all waiting."

His hand curved around the nape of her neck, bringing her lips down to his. She shivered as his tongue tasted hers, moaning softly as he pulled away. "No, Joey." He kissed her again, this time fleeting. "We're worth waiting for."

~**~  
Joey slipped into the darkened room as quietly as she could, tiptoeing over to her side of the room.

"Don't bother. I'm awake." Audrey snapped on the lamp beside her bed. She was sitting up, leaning against the headboard. "I wanted to talk to you yesterday, but we seemed to miss each other."

"Why would you want to talk to me after three weeks of silence?" Joey asked quietly.

"I'm not the only one who's been practicing the silent treatment."

"Being accused of sleeping with my roommate's boyfriend tends to make me a little uncommunicative." Joey sat at her desk, picking up one of the few remaining cookies Grams had sent her. "It's a character flaw, I guess."

"I'm not trying to pick a fight with you."

"Why not? Isn't that more your modus operandi?"

Audrey sighed and shrugged. "Look, I'm trying to talk here, and if you'd rather fight, I suppose we can do that too. But the way I see it, you and I have to live together for at least another five months, so maybe we can try and work this out."

"Which means what? I stop hanging around with Pacey?" Joey asked lightly. "Or just stop sleeping with him?"

"I'm sorry I accused you of it, okay?" Audrey offered. "I was jealous, because he loves you. He's always going to love you and I have to compete with that. And I felt like I was losing."

"Felt? Past tense?"

"It's not a feeling anymore." Audrey got up and moved over to Joey's bed, sitting on the edge of the mattress, her arms wrapped around her knees. "Pacey and I are…well, we're not anything anymore. Friends. Maybe. Eventually."

"Not lovers?"

Audrey shrugged. "I went to see him last night. See if we could talk, if we could work things out. See if he was still interested in me at all."

"Was he?"

Smiling at the feigned indifference, Audrey lay back on Joey's bed. "Yes. And no. Mostly no." She sat up and looked directly at Joey. "Is there a you and Pacey now, Joey?"

Joey was silent for a moment, meeting Audrey's eyes. When she spoke, her voice was quiet, slightly sad. "How would you feel if there was?"

'Will it matter?"

"Yes. And no." Joey smiled tentatively. "I've missed you a lot lately. Been…I've been going through a lot lately. It would have been nice to have a girlfriend."

"Nicer than having a Pacey?"

"Sometimes." Joey nibbled on her cookie, staring past Audrey. "There is no Joey and Pacey. Not now."

"But in the future?"

Joey shrugged and grabbed the last cookie from the plate on her desk, handing it to Audrey before settling beside her on the bed. "I don't want to think about the future right now. The future could be anything. Me. You. Someone else."

"Doesn't that bother you?"

"Yeah. It does." She smiled softly, the corners of her mouth raising just enough to convey both happiness and sadness. "But that's only because I love him."

Audrey nodded in agreement, in understanding. There was a long, comfortable silence filled with the sugary smell of Grams's cookies. "He's the one who kicked the shit out of Wilder, isn't he?"

Joey's smile widened and she shook her head. "You'll have to ask him."

"Maybe I will."

"You mean maybe you'll flirt with him like the wanton hussy you are?"

Audrey paused then laughed. "You know it, sister. And my flirting's going to beat your shy, innocent, poor Joey Potter act hands down."

"You think so?"

"Oh, bunny, I know so."

"We'll see." Joey put her hand over Audrey's and squeezed it, fighting back a silent swell of emotion. "We'll see."


End file.
